Shakespeare Stages a Heist

It was just like "Ocean's Eleven," except not at all.

Everyone knows about William Shakespeare. He is regarded as one of the greatest English writers in history and was a genius of the theatre.* He wrote Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, and lots of other stuff that’s so important that they make you read it in high school.

But staging plays wasn’t the easiest thing in the Elizabethan era. For one thing, there was the bubonic plague to contend with. And when Shakespeare finally found a troupe to work with, the theatre’s landowner decided to go all Puritan, saying that plays couldn’t be staged there anymore because they’re of the Devil. Or something.

That’s when Shakespeare and his pals turned into heist masterminds. When someone discovered that the company still owned the actual playhouse — just not the land it was built upon — the whole gang dressed up in intimidating military costumes. Then, in the dead of night, they took apart the building board by board and moved it across the river, where they reassembled it. Take that, Puritan landowning guy!

That new location — the Globe Theatre — was where Shakespeare would go on to premiere his greatest works. And it never could’ve happened without that badass heist. Somehow, the tights don’t seem so goofy anymore.
* As drunk historian Mark Gagliardi notes, you spell it with an “re” because it’s classier.