Travel Like Abbi and Ilana

When the going gets tough, the tough wear Rollerblades.

If you’re anything like Abbi and Ilana when venturing to a new place, odds are you spend most of your energy doing things like restarting a battery, trying not to be groped by strangers and avoiding collisions with trees. So as you prepare for your next journey (no matter how short it is), take a few cues on how to avoid transport woes from these bona fide travel experts.

SUBWAY
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/vh9ebx/broad-city-subway-encounters
The first rule of riding the MTA is to pick your train car wisely. Super crowded? Not great — and you’ll have to maneuver through lots of people. Empty except for a lone weirdo having a snack? Even worse. So find the least terrifying car and park yourself there until you can rejoin civilization aboveground.

PLANE
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/yo8k0e/broad-city-the-great-tampon-hunt
The worst part about flying is that once you’re 30,000 feet in the air, you can’t make any pit stops. No quick detours to a combination Burger King/Taco Bell/Baskin-Robbins/Men’s Wearhouse, no breaks to find a bathroom that isn’t in a moving vehicle, and absolutely no way to run into a CVS real quick to buy tampons. Learn from Abbi’s mistake and fly prepared.

DRIVING
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/dol64j/broad-city-extended-scene—romancing-the-jeep
Car troubles? No problem. A dead battery doesn’t mean your travel plans are dead in the water. Just follow Ilana’s smooth moves to find a way how to, y’know, turn your Jeep on.

ROLLERBLADES
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/9yoyf0/broad-city-nature-skills
The oft-overlooked inline skates are an underrated transportation method. Strap these puppies on whether you’re looking for a leisurely park workout or trying to get to a dog wedding on time. Just steer clear of those pesky giant holes in the ground.