How to Pass As a Human at Work

Your struggles end here.

Passing yourself off as a human at work — much less a normal, well-adjusted human — can be tricky. But Sammy the alien has got you covered. When he goes to work at the Smoothie Prince piloting a lifelike robot that looks like Jeff, it’s a master class in what not do on the job. Ready to take some notes?

1. DON’T Abruptly Change Your Behavior.
If your coworkers are used to you acting a certain way, don’t deviate too far from the blueprint. For example, let’s say that you, like Jeff, are usually laid back and relaxed. If that’s the case, maybe don’t suddenly get up in your colleagues’ faces about their floor-mopping technique. If you want to change your approach without seeming suspicious, do it gradually. Or better yet, don’t do it at all. Stay the same, and screw floor cleanliness.

2. DON’T Act Invulnerable to Extreme Pain.

Even if you have to fake it, this is a pretty important rule.—some-aliens-how-sammy-makes-a-smoothie