Night Three’s Harshest Burns

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Based on the bile spewed during tonight’s quarterfinals, the roasters who were previously eliminated may have been the lucky ones. Because if there’s one word that sums up Night Three, it is most certainly “DAMN.”

  1. THE BODY-SHAMING BURN

    Booking a TV appearance is a major accomplishment for a comic, but in the night’s first round, Joe Dosch did to Yamaneika Saunders’s credits what roasters do best: He took a nice thing and made it ugly.

  2. THE “GET A RESTRAINING ORDER” BURN

    Olivia Grace may not have won her match against Todd Barry, but she held her own against the seasoned comedy pro with burns like this one. It may have been brutal, but boy, did it go down smooth.

  3. THE TREMENDOUS, TREMENDOUS BURN

    Frank Castillo came into his match against Anna Valenzuela with a classic multi-tiered Trump dis in his back pocket. It was an attack so impressive, so brutal, so yuge that even Valenzuela had to give him props for it.

  4. THE REQUISITE SEXUAL EUPHEMISM BURN

    Did Alex Hooper win against Matthew Broussard? No. But did he get in a quality humdinger about his opponent’s inadequacy in the bedroom? You betcha. Plus, he gets points for being the weirdest competitor of the night by far.

You haven’t seen it all yet, folks. Tomorrow night, the four most fearsome battlers will vie for the whole enchilada live on TV. Only one will win; all will probably wind up feeling bad about themselves.