Throw a Music Festival That Doesn’t Suck

Following these two simple rules will (almost) guarantee success.

Hosting your own music festival is complicated. You’ve got guests to keep happy, performers’ egos to massage, and — hopefully — a mob of people who want to have sex with you. Here’s how to make sure everything goes smoothly.

  • HAVE AN AUDIENCE IN MIND

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    No festival can be everything to everyone. It’s best to have a specific audience in mind, and then build the event around those people. If your specific audience happens to be three attractive women you met five minutes ago, so be it.

  • STAY ENTHUSIASTIC

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    An upbeat attitude will make up for a lot — like the fact that your audience is so small that it’s almost nonexistent. Or that all your musical instruments are broken. Or that you’re wearing a hospital gown and everyone can see your ass. So get out there and have fun, champ. Hell, you can even do a little Irish step dancing to add some value to the ticket price. This is your music festival. You’ve earned it.