Well, here you are at the police impound lot with a hot roll of bills burnin’ a hole in your pocket. The choices before you are clear:
Blech — just look at this f**king thing. Sure, it’ll make producing commercials for your up-and-coming ad firm way easier. And sure, it’ll ease the burden on your overworked staff, who constantly struggle to cram all of your filming equipment into an employee’s car. And sure, it’s a steal for the price. But Jiminy Cricket, is that hunk o’ junk drab. Where’s the romance? Where’s the thrill of the open road? Just thinking about that monstrosity is bumming us out. Can we move on to choice number two already?
Holy guacamole — just look at this f**king thing. It’s a terrible investment. It has pretty much nothing going on in the safety department. You have no experience driving, or even riding, a motorcycle. But take a gander at that sleek frame. It’s a siren calling to you in the sultry tones of a saxophone. One look, and you know this hog is primed and ready to rock your goddamn socks off. Hell, this crotch rocket is sex on two wheels.