Arguing with Humans vs. Arguing with Aliens

Both are psychologically scarring -- but which is worse?

Arguing: It’s what separates us from the animals. It’s also apparently what separates aliens from the animals. Yes, humans and extraterrestrials are both great at waging emotional warfare. But who’s better? Let’s look to Jeff and his otherworldly roommates for answers.

  • ROUND 1: HUMAN vs. ALIENS

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    If you set aside the fact that Jimmy, Sammy and Ted are aliens, there’s nothing unusual about this argument at first. It’s a simple issue of fast-food order etiquette. But things go off the rails when Jeff accuses the aliens of acting like anti-human, anti-Earth Nazis. Next time, it might be best for him to make the taco trip alone.

  • ROUND 2: ALIENS vs. ALIENS

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    This one cuts much deeper. Not so much an argument as a slow dismemberment of Jimmy’s soul, this interaction shows just how cruel other life forms can be to each other. It starts with some relatively normal teen-angst drama, and then Jimmy gradually realizes that his wife has been cheating on him with their neighbor — and that the family he loves no longer has any use for him. Arguing over Mexican food looks positively fun by comparison.

VERDICT: No contest. Aliens are capable of inflicting way more emotional damage than humans are.