How to Win Your Office’s Remote-Controlled Car Race

You know, those events that are commonly held.

The Tactona 420, an annual remote-controlled car race, is a proud TelAmeriCorp tradition of competition and sportsmanship. Except not sportsmanship. This is an important company event where the winner not only gets bragging rights, but access to a folder of sales leads. So what’s a surefire way to win?

  • 1. PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE

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    Before you can beat your opponents on the racetrack, you must beat them in their minds. That’s why it’s crucial to follow Blake’s lead and remind them of all the past victories you’ve enjoyed. As an additional intimidation tactic, you could drench yourself in a mix of cranberry juice and human blood. But that’s strictly optional.

  • 2. STRATEGIC TEAMWORK

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    The Tactona 420 is all about skill and timing. (And weed, obviously.) But if you’re banking on a come-from-behind victory after making a dramatic entrance in the middle of the race, you might need a little extra help. That’s why it helps to have loyal friends. If they’re willing to sacrifice their own cars to propel yours to victory, those sweet sales leads — and Tactona 420 immortality — will be yours.