It’s been a long road, but here we are. Thousands of Donald Trump’s tweets have been combed through, 64 were named contenders, and now four have advanced through the ranks toward victory.
Let’s check the bracket to take a closer look at the semi-finals.
CELEBS VS. ENEMIES
Of all Donald Trump’s celebrity obsessions, none is as fierce or as passionate as his fixation on, of all people, Rosie O’Donnell. So it’s no surprise we’ve seen this juggernaut decimate all the competition in its path and dominate the Celebs division. It’s vicious. It’s unfounded. It’s classic Trump.
But the Rosie tweet is in for the fight of its life as it faces the winner of the Enemies division. It takes a certain kind of guy to wave away an extensive record of sexual assault allegations with one sweeping statement. Throw in a conspiracy theory, and you have yourself a bonanza of bats**t.
GOVERNMENT AFFAIRS VS. WTF
Look, Donald Trump never said he was an expert on the Constitution. (In fact, it’s pretty clear that he may not even get the gist of basic governance.) But here he is nonetheless, spouting off hypothetical ways that an inept president could get kicked out of office. Even if this bad boy doesn’t go all the way, at least it will have provided the rest of us with a pretty therapeutic thought experiment.
It’s harder to get more pathologically egocentric than its competition, though: the winner of the WTF division. Making September 11 about himself may be the Trumpiest thing the Donald’s ever done, which might be enough to seal its fate in Tweet Valhalla.