Science, Meet Liquor

The history of science is filled with wonder. And also booze.

Science: It’s all around us. From airplanes to cell phones to those sneakers that light up when you walk, scientific discoveries play a crucial role in our daily lives.

Let’s pour one out for all the nerds who went on to change the world. Here are some incredible moments in the history of science, relayed by (who else?) hammered comedians.

  • THE BONE WARS

    Who knew that paleontology could get so competitive? It has been scientifically proven that dinosaurs are awesome, but when studying them forces you to start screwing over your friends, maybe it’s time to rethink things. Deception and theft are poor ways to honor a raptor’s memory.

  • THE FIRST SPACE WALK

    Maybe it was more of a space stumble, actually, since Kyle Kinane was drunk off his ass while narrating this story. But there’s no denying that being the first man to float in space is a pretty big deal — especially considering how many things went wrong for Alexey Leonov, even after the landing. (Apparently sexually aroused wolves were involved.)

  • PERCY JULIAN’S BARRIER-BREAKING DISCOVERY

    Percy Julian was a true pioneer. In addition to paving the way for future African-American scientists, he helped to advance the fields of medicine and biology. He also greatly reduced the scientific need for horse penises, which we’re sure horses are grateful for.

  • THE SCOPES MONKEY TRIAL

    Here it is — the granddaddy of science-versus-religion narratives. (Aside from the whole Galileo thing, maybe.) The issue at hand: whether human evolution was fit to be taught in public schools. Fortunately, this 1925 case settled the matter decisively, and it has never come up since.