Throwing Corn Into People’s Butts: Spring’s Hottest Trend

Get onboard before it's too late.

http://www.cc.com/video-clips/n1zjt0/the-gorburger-show-corn-hole
You may consider yourself a fashionable human. You have the “hot sneaks.” You live in a trendy neighborhood. You’ve purchased “DAMN.” on vinyl. But thanks to your favorite Gorburger, this spring, none of that means a thing if you’re not throwing corn into people’s butts.

That’s right: Now that Gorburger has brought the public’s attention to this wonderful game, all the cool young people are playing it. And now you can, too! Just lather up some full cobs of corn and try to launch them into other people’s rectal cavities before your competitor’s corn gets there first. Here’s what you need to know to get in on the fun new craze.

MAKE SURE THE OTHER PERSON KNOWS YOU’RE PLANNING ON THROWING CORN INTO THEIR BUTT
Someone might just be showing you their bare butt for fun (and not the corn-throwing kind), so make sure to get permission before tossing that sweet, sweet cob.

DON’T OVERTHINK IT
Nobody knows why this is happening or who started it. What’s important is that it’s now an essential prerequisite for being considered “with it.” So just close your eyes and let ’er rip.

DON’T EAT THE CORN
Cooking and eating corn is officially passé. In fact, if you’re seen eating it, people will not only consider you a de facto dad but might even assume that you pulled the corn out of someone else’s butt.

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
We recommend throwing corn into a butt in the privacy of your own home before taking your skills out into the streets. You don’t want to make a fool of yourself like Zach Woods did by being inept at throwing corn into butts.

That’s pretty much it. Catch you on the corn-throwin’ field!