Get Your Own Damn Show, Chris Hardwick!!

Better yet, be happy with one of the half dozen you currently host.
You’ve finally gone too far, Mr. Hardwick. It wasn’t enough for you to have @midnight, “Talking Dead,” “Talking Bad,” “Talking Saul,” “Talking Preacher,” “Talking with Chris Hardwick” and “The Nerdist” under your belt. Now you come for Gorburger’s show as well?

Shame on you, sir. Shame!

Time was when a hardworking alien could pay his dues, stage a hostile and gruesome takeover of a Japanese talk show, and maybe — just maybe — have a shot at making it in showbiz.

But you just couldn’t allow that, could you, Mr. Hardwick? You saw all the fun Gorburger was having with Tokyo Fever and Kazuki the inventor and thought, “This too must be mine!” Well, you may have The Beforeburger Show, but we’ll be damned before we let you use your signature charm and well-honed interviewing technique to stage some kind of delightful coup.

Remember, Gorburger got his job the old-fashioned way: by tearing off and eating some people’s appendages.

You may have your winning personality, Mr. Hardwick, but you’ll never have the panache to accomplish something like that. Good day to you, sir!