Why Can’t Reno Have Normal Criminals?

Honestly, they'd be a breath of fresh air.

If there’s anything that the cops at the Reno Sheriff’s Department know, it’s that their city is a hotbed of crime and perversion. Seemingly all of Reno’s law-breakers do weirdo stuff — like roller-skating or dressing up like medieval knights.

Check out some of the city’s most colorful criminals here, and ask yourself what the Sherriff’s Department must ask itself every day: Why can’t one of them do something regular, like rob a bank?

  1. THE ROLLER-SKATING SCOFFLAW

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    Ah, Terry. While he may not be a conventionally hardened (so to speak) criminal, it’s no surprise that he has frequent encounters with the Reno police. It’s kind of par for the course when you go to the supermarket to “try fruit on,” whatever that means. Seriously, would it kill this guy to just commit fraud or something?

  2. THE ROLE-PLAYING RENEGADE

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    Far be it from us to question the integrity of Dungeons & Dragons. But sometimes you’ve got to snap back into the real world — or at least refrain from shooting fellow players with arrows. It’s hard to believe that the Reno cops deal with crooks like this every day.

  3. THE AWKWARD GUY WHO’S ALSO A SERIAL KILLER

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    As a notorious murderer, Craig Pullin actually comes close to being a regular criminal. Hooray! Unfortunately, he’s so awkward that it erases any potential for normality that he might’ve had. Is a charming Ted Bundy type too much to ask for?

  4. THE MIMICKING MIME

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    At this point, the fact that one of the Reno cops’ antagonists is a mime should not surprise you.

  5. THE FLOWER-THROWING FEMME FATALE

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    Who says that femme fatales have to be young? In any case, this woman nicely encapsulates Reno’s criminal population. She’s determined. She’s upset. And she enjoys throwing random items. Things don’t turn out well for her in the end, but don’t worry: There are plenty more outlaws ready to take her place.