How to Rebrand the Democratic Party

"A Better Deal" isn't cutting it as the party's new slogan, so Jim has some ideas of his own.

The way Jim Jefferies sees it, the Democratic Party has a branding problem. The Dems recently revealed their new snooze-fest of a slogan, “A Better Deal,” during an exciting video that features some old people speaking gently to you in a field. Let’s just say it’s not catching on.
If absolutely nothing else, branding is what Donald Trump exceeds at, and if the Dems want a better chance at beating the current president in 2020, they’ll have to punch up their messaging.

So attention: If you’re a member of the Democratic National Committee, Jim has a few rebranding ideas he’d like to run by you.

First, let’s talk mascots. Face it: Donkeys suck. They’re ugly and boring, and the only thing they’re known for is their stubbornness. How about switching to an animal that better reflects the party? Jim suggests a “high horse” or a “beaver that majored in creative writing.” Sure, those might sound insulting, but at least they’re not animals whose names are synonymous with asses.

Instead of giving another reasoned lecture about “common sense” bipartisan gun legislation, try something that sums up a strong position in three little words! That’ll get people chanting and on their feet. Who knows? Maybe it’ll even galvanize Congress into taking gun control seriously.

It’s not the subtlest slogan, but neither is “Drain the Swamp.” Maybe a group of sex-positive progressives like the Dems should indulge their vulgar side and give the people what they want: firm, hard promises of really long, long-term change.