Comedy Central

Four Things That Would Happen If The Internet Were A Real Place

It would be terrible.

As we march further into the 21st century, the Internet occupies more and more space in the average person’s life — at least, metaphorically. But what if it literally took up space — a real-life Internet a person could walk into and look around. Chappelle’s Show looked into that world, and we’re scared by what they found. Allow us to present the four major takeaways from this frightening, frightening land.

  1. The Internet Would Be A Mall.

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    That’s right. It would be a big mall: the kind of place where everyone is buying things and feeling sad. Sounds about right.

  2. Ron Jeremy Would Wander Around And Bother You.

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    You wouldn’t be able to take two steps without a mustachioed man from the 70s jumping out from an unseen corner and asking if you want to watch him have sex. Even worse? It wouldn’t even be THE Ron Jeremy every time, just A Ron Jeremy.

  3. The Kiosk To Buy Music Would Suck.

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    This is pretty much the same as real life. RIP Sam Goody.

  4. Ron Jeremy Would Maybe Need A Friend.

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    Someone, please be friends with Ron Jeremy. He’s cursed to wander this real-life Internet forever, never to be at peace. It’s a bummer.

Go ahead — see the horrors for yourself. Luckily, we prepared you. You’re welcome.