Are you struggling to get by? Is everything around you in chaos? Are you just a total and complete disaster zone of a human being? Let Dave Chappelle guide you to a better life.
GET A JOB.
First things first, you need somewhere to go every day. You should be contributing to society, and the best way you can do that is by serving society the fast food it desperately needs. Added benefit: You’ll smell like fries all day.
GET YOUR FINANCES ORGANIZED.
Now that you have a job, you need to take that money and make it work for you. And no one is better equipped to manage your finances than the Wu-Tang Clan. You and your fam deserve those dollar dollar bills.
GET A FULL NIGHT’S SLEEP.
You can’t be a contributing member of society if you’re barely sleeping at night. Unfortunately, most sleep-aid medications leave you groggy or overtired (or cause you to drive your car into the side of a grocery store). Thankfully, there’s Ribs.
GO TO THE DOCTOR.
The saying goes, “A fractured arm never heals itself.” Or is it, “A watched pot never boils”? Either way, if you hurt yourself, you need to seek medical attention. And bring your proof of insurance, OK? YEAH!
When all else fails, find a professional.