Qualities of an Ideal Servant

Good help is hard to find.

A functional manor requires two things to run smoothly: an unending supply of cocaine wine and an effective staff. While any man, woman, child or well-trained possum could handle the first, the second can be rather challenging. The perfect servant needs many qualities besides being alive and over the age of six.

Be Neither Seen Nor Heard

The only difference between a good servant and a wall is that a servant can carry a tray of drinks (though, technically, a wall could house a shelf that holds drinks). Either way, servants and walls are similar in that they are both important to the integrity of the household but should stay out of the way.

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