The mainstream media won’t tell you this, but the more technological advances we achieve, the closer we bring ourselves to a robotic uprising. The proof is everywhere — if you know where to look.
VIDEO GAMES ARE TO BLAME
Bet you think motion tracking and virtual reality are pretty cool, don’t you? We’ll see how cool you think they are when machines use that very technology to track us down and enslave us — or to spy on us like a bunch of robotic pervs.
TEXTING WILL BE OUR DOWNFALL
If you think it’s hard to discern the tone of a text message now, wait until those metal bastards start hacking our phones to confuse us even more. Just imagine: a world in which every text message seems weirdly passive aggressive. Chaos ensues. And who stands to gain? You got it: robots.
DELETE YOUR DICK PICS WHILE YOU CAN
It can’t be a coincidence that sexting scandals have brought down so many prominent politicians, right? There has to be some shadowy force behind the dissemination of these naughty photos, doesn’t there? Uh, actually, not that we can tell. It turns out a lot of politicians are just horndogs. Still, though: robots.