How To Break Your Diet

You deserve a treat.

What’s the point of waking up to go running at 6am, making green smoothies for lunch and always taking the stairs instead of the elevator if you aren’t going to indulge every now and then? Even if your version of cardio is sitting up in bed, glancing out the window, then going back to sleep all day, you deserve a treat. And no one knows more about indulgence than Key & Peele. Join them on a calorie-dense culinary tour through some decadent treats.

Don’t just settle for chicken-fried steak when you can have cornbread, collard greens and a whole bucket of ham hocks.

Who doesn’t want to start the day with tiny plums and Turkish doughnut pits? After all, it is continental — so grab your spoon-and-fork-shaped eating utensil and dig in.

What’s even better than not having to make your own pizza? Getting a giant pie covered in pepperoni and pineapple brought directly to your home. If you’re going to break your diet, you might as well save yourself the trouble of burning any calories whatsoever. Just ask Wendell.

Bagels aren’t just for sales associates; they’re also for people who are sick of oatmeal. But seriously, make some sales, then get some schmear.

100 percent grass-fed Japanese Kobe beef is totally worth the $35 per pound — and the friends you’ll alienate when you bring it to a barbecue. But just remember: This choice beef is only for those who are worthy enough to appreciate it.