From crop tops to fanny packs to sweatshirts that are probably supposed to be for dogs, Ilana has pulled off some bold styles in her day. But the one thing she never leaves her Gowanus hovel without is the most important accessory of all: confidence.
DO wear…whatever this purse-harness contraption is when meeting your BFF’s estranged childhood friend. Such a daring expression of individuality will surely earn her respect. (JonBenet Ramsey commemorative Beanie Baby sold separately.)
DO wear a Female Body Inspector shirt — but only if you’re female. Otherwise it’s just kinda gross. Bonus points if you buy it on a whim from a street kiosk in the East Village.
DO wear black lipstick. It’s great for spicing up a trip to Bed Bath & Beyond, and works even better when paired with short shorts and a silver baseball cap.
DO go to the bank in a blond wig, cat ears and a bra, preferably accompanied by a friend wearing a glamorous Missy Elliott-inspired trash bag and bike helmet. As long as one of you has money, they’ll take you seriously. Oh, wait — neither of you do? Never mind.
DON’T ever let anyone tell you that your outfit is inappropriate — even if he’s your boss, and you’re wearing a shirt so tiny that the entire office can see your bra.
DON’T feel the need to limit yourself to human fashions only. If you see a hoodie that really speaks to who you are as a person and has a space just for your pigtails, go for it. So what if you found it at the pet store and it’s clearly designed for a small dog?
DO check out some of Ilana’s most stylish moments. Whenever you need some fashion inspiration, she’s got you, girl. (Or boy! Or dog!)