A roast is like an orgy: You want to know who’s participating and what you can expect. And while Rob Lowe may be the main course, you have to wonder — who are the side dishes? So here’s a list of those responsible for a long night of sick burns: the dais.
Roast Master David Spade
While they may not have shared tons of screen time together, Rob and David Spade formed a bond during the classic 90s film “Tommy Boy.” In fact, David says he fought Chris Farley for Rob’s attention on set. Now, 20 years later, all that love will be set aside for an evening as David hosts an entire night of insults aimed at his friend and former co-star.
Peyton ManningLarry French/Getty Images
The former Indianapolis Colts quarterback and now-retired Super Bowl MVP may come prepared with plenty of ammo for the actor who started a 2012 Twitter scandal about him. Lucky for both of these guys, Rob has been a huge fan of the Colts for many years, so all that crazy Twitter controversy is just water under the bridge — or total fodder for the biggest hits Peyton has delivered since Super Bowl 50.
Rob Riggle worked with Rob Lowe on a 2014 television pilot, which sadly was not called “Too Many Robs” or “Rob 2 Rob” or any other play on their shared name. We can only hope that Riggle will burn the place down with on-set stories of working side by side with Hollywood’s most down-to-earth heartthrob.
You might remember Pete Davidson from the Roast of Justin Bieber, where he destroyed the young pop star with digs that went after everything from Justin’s dad to his love life. While he easily took down one of his peers, it’ll be interesting to see what Pete does with someone twice his age.
If you don’t follow the comedy scene in Europe and missed Roast Battle, then you may not know who Jimmy Carr is. But that doesn’t matter — after this Roast, you won’t forget him. He’s won Roast Battle competitions in the past and will certainly be bringing those harsh burns with his signature delivery that’s so dry, you’ll want to buy it moisturizer.
What would a Roast be without the Roastmaster General Jeff Ross? He’s been a part of more roasts than your dad’s charcoal smoker, yet somehow always finds new burns.
Of all the conservative firebrands out there, Ann Coulter has established herself as one of the fieriest through her numerous media appearances, controversial books and widely protested speeches. She’s practically made a profession out of being hated, which is a good thing since she’s going to be facing a firing squad with plenty ammunition this Labor Day.
Ralph MacchioEmbedded from www.youtube.com.
Sure, they were brothers-in-arms in 1983’s “The Outsiders,” but come Roast night, Rob Lowe may as well be a Cobra Kai to this Karate Kid. Ralph’s got decades worth of dirt on the guest of honor, so Rob better prepare himself for some crane-kick-caliber burns.
Who better to roast the man with a sex tape scandal than self-proclaimed perv Nikki Glaser? She’s used to getting down and dirty on her show Not Safe, so she’ll definitely bring her no-shame sensibility to bear on Hollywood’s eerily ageless star.
Who will save Rob’s soul? Probably not Jewel. She’s done playing “Foolish Games,” the gloves are coming off her “Hands,” and everyone will be left to pick up the “Pieces of You.” Hopefully she’ll follow her “Intuition” and bring up dirt about the brief on-screen kiss she and Rob shared.
This Labor Day, watch it all go down.