Earlier today,Apple fans were blindsided
by a terrible announcement.
The new iPhone 7 won't havetraditional headphone jacks!
What the (bleep)!
(Bleep) on a stick.
-What the (bleep)!-Yeah! -Yeah!
-(cheers and applause)-(bleep)
-That's one of the old ones.-Okay. -RAJSKUB: Is it okay?
Oh, my God, is it okay?
It's fine. It's fine.It's totally fine.
-It's okay.-It's all right.
Look, you got the insurance.You're good.
-Chris, what are you doing?-This confirmed everyone's
worst fearsthat the iPhone would eliminate
that tight sweet headphone holeand replace it
with new wireless air podsthat you definitely won't lose
in the cushions of your couch.
They are, to be fair,including a dongle
that can adaptto the old headphones,
but who wantsto ruin their slim new phone
with some big fat dongle
that flaps around in the windlike an asshole? Not me.
I already got one of those.
This new development comes in...-(laughter)
This new development comesin spite of a petition
that 300,000 irateiPhone users signed
to stop Applefrom killing the headphone jack.
Here's a thought about this.
Um, you-you-you...you could just not buy it.
-Uh... you don't have to.-(laughter)
-(applause and cheering)-Not an option, Chris.
You're right. On the other hand,you totally have to buy it.
Yeah. I will.
Uh, comedians,what's another petition
fans might sign against Apple?James.
I'm not a Trump fan,but I do believe that we need
to make cell phones great again.
-(cheers and applause)-HARDWICK: All right.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
-HARDWICK: Yeah.-There should be a petition
to ban anybody with a crackedscreen from holding a baby.
You had one job!
You hadone job!
I have to tell you,my son almost drowned,
but I stuck him in rice after.
-(Goldberg clucks tongue)-(laughter)