It's time for the FleekShall Inherit the Earth.
The Fleek Shall Inheritthe Earth.
Almost every day a fan comes upand asks me,
"Hey, Chris, I'm a single lady.
"How can I snag a good Christianguy who loves to (bleep)
for the Lord?"
To which I always say,
"I don't know.How did you get in here?"
But luckily the YouTube channelGirl Defined talked
to some wholesome, Christiandudes about what they like
and what they don't likeabout women.
And it is fantastic.
I find a girl unattractive
when she tries to draw attentionto herself.
I find it unattractive
when a girl is really loudand boisterous.
It's really unattractivewhen a girl dresses immodestly.
I'm looking for a girlwho has a passionate love
for being a wifeand for being a mother.
These guys are great.
See? If you can just shut upand cover up...
"I like a girl who just hasa passionate passion
for shutting the (bleep) up."
Yeah, listen, you know,
you want one ofthese thick-dicked hunks, great,
good for you.
I think we have just scratchedthe surface.
So, comedians, as thesesuper old-fashioned youths,
please tell me something elseyou're looking for in a woman
in 60 seconds.And begin. Phoebe.
I'm looking for a womanwho smells like Mommy.
-That's... That is the subtextof all of that (bleep)! -Right?
-Right? -That is the subtextof all of it.
Looking for my Judas,'cause I want to get (bleep).
I'm looking for a womanwho's into the second (bleep).
-Very well done.-Good night, everyone.
Very well done.
I'm looking for a woman whodoesn't ask annoying questions
like, what does the outsidelook like?
Yes, points. Alanna.
I'm looking for a girlwhose coochie
tastes like communion wafers.
(cheering and applause)
All right, I'll give you points.
Uh, I'm looking for a woman
that won't tell our pastor I'm afinger-in-the-booty-ass bitch!
-All right, points. Points.-Wow. Dude.
Oh, he knows. He knows.
I'm looking for a woman who'sgonna get nailed to my wood.
-Yes, points. Oh, Jesus.-Oh, (bleep).
I want a girl who believesevolution is a myth
-just like the female orgasm!-(buzzer sounds)
-What?-Points. Points. -Yeah.