The Fleek Shall Inherit the Earth - Wholesome Christian Dudes

Monday, February 1, 2016 02/01/2016 Views: 115

After hearing what a group of Christian men want in a woman, Alanna Ubach, Phoebe Robinson and Jonathan Kite add some descriptors to the list. (2:44)

It's time for the FleekShall Inherit the Earth.

The Fleek Shall Inheritthe Earth.

Almost every day a fan comes upand asks me,

"Hey, Chris, I'm a single lady.

"How can I snag a good Christianguy who loves to (bleep)

for the Lord?"

To which I always say,

"I don't know.How did you get in here?"

But luckily the YouTube channelGirl Defined talked

to some wholesome, Christiandudes about what they like

and what they don't likeabout women.

And it is fantastic.

I find a girl unattractive

when she tries to draw attentionto herself.

I find it unattractive

when a girl is really loudand boisterous.

It's really unattractivewhen a girl dresses immodestly.

I'm looking for a girlwho has a passionate love

for being a wifeand for being a mother.

Oh... Ooh.

These guys are great.

See? If you can just shut upand cover up...

"I like a girl who just hasa passionate passion

for shutting the (bleep) up."

Yeah, listen, you know,

you want one ofthese thick-dicked hunks, great,

good for you.

I think we have just scratchedthe surface.

So, comedians, as thesesuper old-fashioned youths,

please tell me something elseyou're looking for in a woman

in 60 seconds.And begin. Phoebe.

I'm looking for a womanwho smells like Mommy.

-Yes, points.-Yeah.

-That's... That is the subtextof all of that (bleep)! -Right?

-Right? -That is the subtextof all of it.


Looking for my Judas,'cause I want to get (bleep).


Jonathan Kite.

I'm looking for a womanwho's into the second (bleep).

Yes, points.

-Very well done.-Good night, everyone.

Very well done.


I'm looking for a woman whodoesn't ask annoying questions

like, what does the outsidelook like?

Yes, points. Alanna.

I'm looking for a girlwhose coochie

tastes like communion wafers.

(cheering and applause)

Yeah! Yeah!

All right, I'll give you points.


Uh, I'm looking for a woman

that won't tell our pastor I'm afinger-in-the-booty-ass bitch!

-All right, points. Points.-Wow. Dude.

Oh, he knows. He knows.


I'm looking for a woman who'sgonna get nailed to my wood.

-Yes, points. Oh, Jesus.-Oh, (bleep).


I want a girl who believesevolution is a myth

-just like the female orgasm!-(buzzer sounds)

-What?-Points. Points. -Yeah.