Donald Trump's Big League Box

May 30, 2017 - #InternetBands 05/30/2017 Views: 224

Horatio Sanz, Sebastian Bach and Alison Becker imagine what's inside Donald Trump's monthly subscription box. (1:38)

The Internet offers a wide rangeof subscription services

that ship you a big boxfull of stuff every month.

Of course there's Loot Crate--great one.

Ships nerd culture collectiblesto geeks like me.

There's Birchbox, which sendsout a bundle of beauty products

to geeks like me.

Then there's Bate Crate,which has curated

an array of suppliesfor the avid masturbator.

SANZ:Whoa.

(cheers and applause)

I-I'm really good at it.

I'm really good at it.

I'm so good at it.

Well, since it's 2017

and absolutely everythingis politicized

or something we can jerk off to,

now President Trump has his own.

Introducing the Big League Box.Um...

(audience groans, laughs)

I know.That's not Trump's euphemism

for Raquel Welch's vagina.

It is a new subscription service

offered by the Trump/Pencereelection campaign.

Yes, the reelection campaign.

We're in an unending hellof constant campaigning.

It never ends,and for the nice price

of $69 per month-- what?--

you'll be sent"a handpicked bundle

"of exclusive and vintage

official Donald J. Trumpmerchandise."

Uh, feels appropriate from a man

who gets his wivesthrough the mail.

So, comedians,what is something...

What's something you'd find inDonald Trump's Big League Box?

-(bell dings)-Sebastian Bach.

A Chachi tchotchke.

Yes, points. Very good.

Alison Becker.

Semen?

But, like, in a pouch.

In a pretty pouch.

That's farm to table.

Uh, Horatio.

-A Fleshlight mini.-Yes, points.

Very good.

It's about time.

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