Yesterday, congressionalRepublicans unveiled their plan
to replace Obamacare.
It's calledthe "American Health Care Act."
It's basically just a wet sockfilled with ibuprofen
-and a Post-it note that says"Good luck." -(laughter)
But Jason Chaffetz,the Utah Republican congressman
who looks like a Rescue Rangerwith a G.I. Joe doll haircut,
defended the proposalon CNN this morning
in a way that would makeMarie Antoinette proud.
Americans have choices,
and they've got to makea choice, and so maybe rather
than getting that new iPhone
that they just love,and they want go to spend
hundreds of dollars on that,maybe
they should investin their own health care.
They've got to makethose decisions themselves.
-Yeah, (bleep) you, millennials!-Yeah! -(laughter)
If you just forgothat $749 iPhone 7,
you can literally pay fortwo percent of an appendectomy.
-Oh! -HARDWICK: "Iconic imageof a woman deciding
between health care and thatsweet new iPhone she wanted."
-Oh, Jesus.-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-It's the Dust Bowl photo lady.-Yeah.
-She...-Now, of course... What?
-She has an iPhone 3. Justsaying. -HARDWICK: She has a...
Of courseas a member of Congress,
-this melted The Rock Popsiclegets... -(laughter)
...sweet, sweet subsidizedgovernment health care.
But not only that.It turns out
Chaffetz's politicalaction committee pays
for his Verizon bill.
Comedians, what's anotherof his money-saving tips
for people without health care?Beth.
You could save money on gas
for your commuteby dying in your sleep.
(applause and cheering)
-HARDWICK: No more premiums.-No. -Yeah.
If you hold your breathelong enough,
God will take careof everything else.
-(laughter)-HARDWICK: Yes, Randy.
At least that's how I gotmy iPhone. Wait. No?
-(laughter)-Very good. Jay.
One small penis-removal surgerywill save tons
-of money on Viagra.-HARDWICK: Yeah, absolutely.
-RANDY: A very smart choice.-(applause and cheering)