Terms of Service Endearment - A Little Butt Stuff

Tuesday, June 9, 2015 06/09/2015 Views: 417

Since no one really reads terms of service agreements, Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett imagine worst-case scenarios you may have already accepted. (1:45)

ITS TIME FOR TERMS OFSERVICE ENDEARMENT.

>> IF OUR LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCEHAD READ THE TERMS OF SERVICE

FOR TONIGHT'S TAPING, THEY WOULDHAVE REALIZED THAT WE OWN THEIR

CHILDREN AND THAT OUR PRODUCERSARE GRANTED DROIT DU SEIGNEUR,

THE MEDIEVAL RIGHT TO HAVE SEXWITH THEIR SPOUSES.

>> THE WEBSITE TOSDR.ORGCOLLECTS ALL THE BESTEST TERMS

OF SERVICE FROM WEBSITES THATYOU SAID YOU READ BUT ABSOLUTELY

DID NOT READ BEFORE CLICKINGOKAY.

FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO THESEGUYS TWITPIC "TAKES CREDIT FOR

YOUR CONTENT" AND WE'VE ALLGRANTED SPOTIFY PERPETUAL

LICENSE TO EVERYTHING WEPUBLISH.

BUT WHO CARES, YOU ARE IN AHURRY. CLICK, CLICK, CLICK, YOU

GOT (BLEEP) TO DO.

COMEDIANS, I WANT YOU TO TELL MEAS MANY TOS THAT YOU WISH YOU

HAD SEEN ON WEBSITES BEFORE YOUAGREED TO THEM.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO.

>> OPENING PANDORA RELEASES ALLTHE EVILS IN THE WORLD.

>> Chris: POINTS.

KEVIN.

>> USER AGREES TO A LITTLE BUTTSTUFF ON APPLE'S BIRTHDAY.

JUST A LITTLE.

>> Chris: BILL.

>> USER AGREES TO HAVE THEIRBODY INHABITED BY THE GHOST OF

STEVE JOBS.

>> Chris: WOW.

>> THAT IS DURING BUTT STUFFDAY, RIGHT?

>> OH, YEAH, YEAH.

>>Chris: MIKE.

>> TEN PERCENT OF PROCEEDS WILLGO TO A FOUNDATION THAT GIVES

RACIALLY PROVOCATIVE TATTOOS TOBABIES.

>> Chris: OH, YEAH, YEAH, THATIS THE KOO KOO KOO.

KEVIN.

>> CLICKING HERE PUTS YOU INTOUCH WITH LOCAL MILFS THAT

WILL SUCK YOUR (BLEEP)CLEAN OFF.