Extended - Uncovering Secret Government Programs - Uncensored

Extended - Friday, July 29, 2016 - Uncensored 07/29/2016 Views: 82

Brendon Walsh and Jesse Joyce examine Andrew Basiago's bizarre campaign promises and expose top-secret government programs involving former presidents. (1:38)

>> HARDWICK: If you're justjoining us, Andrew Basiago is a

54-year-old Cambridge-educatedlawyer who says he was part of a

CIA program that fools kids withthick glasses into thinking

they're not being drugged andhooked up to scrotal electrodes,

and now he's running forpresident.

One of his major campaignpromises is to get us completely

off fossil fuels and stop globalwarming, but how?

>> Uh, he's gonna add a newscene in The Fast and the

Furious where Vin Diesel fucks aTesla.

(laughter)>> This is no time for amazing

jokes.

(laughter)>> The government has

teleportation technology thatthey've been hiding from us for

years.

President Basiago knows aboutthis because he used to teleport

to Mars himself with PresidentObama.

>> Yeah, don't forget that, uh,Bigfoot's lawyers said that they

teleported in the elevator of anoffice building, because, of

course, you go to Mars in thesame contraption you'd use to

get to the lobby of a Radisson.

>> HARDWICK: Brendon, yourrebuttal.

>> The CIA sent them as collegeundergrads, to prep them for the

stress of eventually beingpresident, because what could be

more stressful than traveling tofucking Mars, you guys?

>> This.

This. This is more stressful.

>> HARDWICK: Now, it does begthe question:

What top-secret programs couldother presidents have been

involved in?

>> Uh, the CIA covered up thetime that Bill Clinton fucked an

entire Hooters in FortLauderdale.

>> HARDWICK: Brendon?

>> President Garfield tried tooutlaw Mondays and weaponize

lasagna.

>> HARDWICK: Um...

(laughter)Uh, it should be noted that you

just drew the Babadook.

Uh...