Today-- guys,this is gonna upset you--
today is Harry Potter's37th birthday.
-(groans) I know.-Whoa!
So-so, break... 'Cause itjust makes everyone feel old.
But, hey, go aheadand break out the Butterbeer
or, if you'rea designated driver
or a teetotaler, like me,
then break out the I Can'tBelieve It's Not Butterbeer!
And because the endof The Deathly Hallows
is set in September 2017,
this is how Harryactually looks right now.
This is how they look.
It's sort of like that sad,late-30s guy you see
wandering the frozen foodsection at Trader Joe's.
That's what he looks like.
Just think about what his lifeis like right now.
He's a 37-year-old dropoutwho peaked in high school,
married his childhood sweetheartand is trying to raise a family
on the combined payof a government employee
and a newspaper reporter.
Voldemort couldn't kick his ass,but time definitely did.
He's just tryingto relive his...
So, with Harry Potterpushing middle age,
what is a spella 37-year-old wizard would use?
-Yassir.-An invisibility cloak
to help him avoidpaying child support.
-All right, points.-What's up? Where we at?
Yes, points. Very nice.
(cheering and applause)
I mean... that's kind of cute.
The spell he would probably useis Petrificus Totalus,
but that's fine.
Hold my wand.I had too much Patronus.