Extended - Cruzin' for a Bruisin' - Ted Cruz's Secrets

Extended - Thursday, April 28, 2016 - Uncensored 04/28/2016 Views: 215

Ted Cruz's daughter reveals an embarrassing secret about her dad in an interview, so Chris Gethard, Jen D'Angelo and Aisha Tyler share more of her candid observations of him. (2:50)

THE PRESSURE'S ON FOR TEXASC.H.U.D. AND HUMAN FLESH EATER

TED CRUZ TO DERAIL THE TRUMPTRAIN BEFORE THE CONVENTION, SO

YESTERDAY HE UNLEASHED A NEWSECRET WEAPON-- CARLY FIORINA!

THEY-THEY LOOK LIKE SOMEONEPHOTOSHOPPED THE SAME FACE ON

TWO HAIRS.

(LAUGHTER)SO... WE JUST, UH...

(APPLAUSE)(WHOOPING)

HE JUST TAPPED THE FORMERHEWLETT-PACKARD OVERLORD AS HIS

VP BECAUSE, UH, THEY'RE LIKE TWOWEASELS IN A POD!

SO HERE'S CARLY SINGING A CREEPYLITTLE TUNE ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE

LOVES TED CRUZ'S DAUGHTERS.

>> ♪ I KNOW TWO GIRLSTHAT I JUST ADORE

I'M SO HAPPYI CAN SEE THEM MORE... ♪

>> OH, GOD.

(LAUGHTER, GROANING)>> THAT'S LIKE WHEN A WITCH

SINGS BEFORE SHE KILLS KIDS,LIKE...

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: THAT'S EXACTLY

RIGHT.

A HUNDRED POINTS FOR THAT.

IT ACTUALLY MADE ME THINK OFTHIS.

(APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)IT ACTUALLY MADE ME THINK OF

THIS.

♪ ONE, TWOCARLY'S COMING FOR YOU

THREE, FOURBETTER LOCK THE DOOR... ♪

FIVE, SIX, GET YOUR CRUCIFIX.

SHE'S TED CRUZ'S RUNNING MATE.

UH, BUT I CAN'T BLAME CARLY.

TED CRUZ'S DAUGHTER CAROLINE ISSUPER SMART.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE SEEN HERTALK ANYWHERE, BUT SHE IS

HYPER-ARTICULATE.

VERY SMART LITTLE GIRL.

CHECK HER OUT ON ANDERSON COOPERTALKING ABOUT HER RECENT

DADDY-DAUGHTER PICNIC AT SCHOOL.

>> SHE GOT TO DRESS UP DADDY IN,LIKE, THIS PINK BOA AND THESE,

LIKE, BIG GOOFY-LOOKING, UH...

>> UNDERWEAR.

>> ...UNDERWEAR AND...

>> AND FYI, THAT WAS ON AVIDEOTAPE THE WHOLE TIME.

>> UH-OH.

>> AND NOW IT'S A CLASS VIDEOTHAT THEY'RE SENDING OUT TO ALL

THE PARENTS.

>> OH, REALLY?

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)

>> HARDWICK: MM. MM-HMM. MM-HMM.

YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

YEAH, THANK YOU FOR MENTIONINGTHAT, DAUGHTER THAT I LOVE AND

DO NOT WISH TO STRANGLE RIGHTNOW... AND OFFER HER BLOOD AS A

SACRIFICE TO THE DARK LORD!

ONE THING IS SURE, THOUGH, THEKID IS VERY SHARP.

I WOULD ACTUALLY VOTE FOR HER.

SHE'S, UH, ANGLING FOR A 2048RUN ALREADY.

SO, COMEDIANS, AS CRUZ'SPRECOCIOUS LITTLE DAUGHTER, TELL

ME SOMETHING ELSE ABOUT HIM THATWAS CAUGHT IN THE VIDEO.

AISHA.

>> DADDY WATCHING RUPAUL'S DRAGRACE IN MOMMY'S NEGLIGEE.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: YEAH. POINTS.

POINTS.

(APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)UH, JEN.

>> UH, ONE TIME AT A BIRTHDAYPARTY I SAW MY DADDY...

IS HE GONE?

OKAY, THAT GUY IS NOT MY DAD.

HE'S A...

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(APPLAUSE, WHOOPING)CHRIS.

>> ONE TIME DADDY AND MOMMYSPOKE TO EACH OTHER AT DINNER,

AND WE ALL GOT SCARED.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

POINTS. POINTS.