A powerful imageof two males lions
havinga Brokeback Mountain moment
has been making the rounds on--I don't know--
-let's call it "Porn Cub." Uh...-(laughter)
-You know what that is.-(laughter)
See the picture there?There they are. Aw.
♪ Can you feelthe love tonight? ♪
(cheers and applause)
♪ It's enough to make kingsand vagabonds... ♪
FEINSTEIN:I do feel like this is what
Elton John was picturing when hewrote that Lion King soundtrack.
HARDWICK: When he wrotethe song. Yeah, exactly.
-I'll give you100 points for that. -Thank you.
Um, I don't know howthis happened.
-I'm assuming they meton Grrrindr. Uh... -(laughter)
These two hooked upwith a lioness nearby,
leading experts to thinkshe may have been pregnant,
or maybe she just watchingand rubbin' one out. Who knows.
But according to zoologists,
homosexual behaviorhas been found in all species,
with the exceptionof the species
that never have sex at all,
-such as sea urchinsand Ted Cruz. -(laughter)
-Uh, I love this expression.-Yeah.
"Please, could you just notlook at... please?
KLUWE: Yeah, just...just give us a moment.
FEINSTEIN: Give us a minute,for Christ's sake.
-Just give us privacy.-Let 'em finish.
HARDWICK:I'd love to send these two lions
to North Carolinaand watch businesses try
to refuse them service. Um,it'd be pretty (bleep) amazing.
Un, now, since this kind ofbehavior is not uncommon
in the animal kingdom, I wouldlike you to narrate this scene
in the style of a stodgyBritish nature documentary.
-Of course Tom Ellis.-(laughter, applause)
He may have a leg upon this one.
(his British accent):So, here we are,
deep in the plains of Africa
watching these two male lionsgo at it hammer and tongue.
Oh, yeah, that's, uh...
Mmm. Wow, that is...
Anyway, I'd better go, love,'cause I got to direct
-the, uh, documentary there.-HARDWICK: Points.
-(cheers and applause)-Points.
I liked your...
That's so not fair!
I appreciated that he was...I appreciated that
-you were thrusting while youwere... -Yeah, he was really...
-Yeah. -I really liked thefinishing touch of you slowly
(bleep) the podium.
HARDWICK: You know what it is?It's always great
when we get, like,an actor actor on the show
that really takes usinto the part.
FEINSTEIN: Yeah, he brought thatto life for me.
-HARDWICK: Yeah, it's good.-And I feel soiled somehow.
I wouldn't say...
I would thinkthat's just what it's like
-to talk to Tom Ellison the phone. -(laughter)
In the bushes, you can seeTed Cruz shame-masturbate.
-HARDWICK: Yes, points.-(laughter, applause)
And that is a thing.I do it.
-HARDWICK: Yeah. Points. Points.-I shame-masturbate.