It's now timefor our #HashtagWars.
Communication's changingthese days.
If you've got a grievancewith your significant other,
sitting down like adultsand talking it out
is so early 2000s.
If you really wantto let your partner know
what's bugging you, call themout online for everyone to see.
That is why tonight's hashtagis #ILoveBaeBut.
Examples might be:
I wish her cat mouthcould form actual words.
Some of us are lonely.
Uh, I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.
-Gillian.-I love bae,
but she goes throughtoo many batteries.
I love bae, but not bae's butt.
All right, points.
-Claudia. -I love bae,but she makes me call her "bae,"
which makes mereally uncomfortable
-'cause I'm not 14.-Yeah. Points.
I love bae,but she crashed her plane
circumnavigating the globe.
She's Amelia Earhart.
-Claudia.-Um, I love bae,
but he's engagedto Lydia Hearst.
I love bae, but I think we gotto go our separate... baes.
-(laughter, groans)-Going for the groaners.
-(applause) -All right, I'mgonna give you points for that.
-Claudia.-I love bae,
but I think his vision forTransformers has grown stale
and he should handthe franchise...
-Paul Rust.-I love bae,
but I say "potato"and she says "po-tah-ters."