Discover Deez Nuts - All the Banks Are Wet Today

Monday, October 12, 2015 10/12/2015 Views: 167

Christopher Columbus wasn't the best guy, so Megan Neuringer, Colin Hanks and Steve Agee suggest people far more worthy of their own national holidays. (1:53)

AS WE GO TO OUR NEXT GAME,

DISCOVER DEEZ NUTS.

>> YEAH, NUTS.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: WERE YOU WONDERING WHY

YOUR MAIL WASN'T DELIVERED TODAYAND EVERYONE WAS BEING

EXTRA SELF-RIGHTEOUS ON SOCIALMEDIA?

WELL THAT'S BECAUSE IT'SCOLUMBUS DAY.

EVERYONE LOVES COLUMBUS DAY.

BIGGEST HOLIDAY AND AMERICANTRADITION. THIS IS THE TIME WHEN

WE CELEBRATE THE MURDEROUS SLAVETRADER WHO DIDN'T ACTUALLY

DISCOVER AMERICA, BUT ALL OF THEBANKS ARE CLOSED.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Chris: I THINK WE CAN DO

BETTER THAN COMMEMORATING SOMEITALIAN THAT BROUGHT SYPHILIS TO

THE NEW WORLD.

LET'S HEAR YOUR PITCHES FORSOMEONE WE SHOULD DEDICATE A

DAY TO INSTEAD OF COLUMBUS. I'MGONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK AND BEGIN.

>> RYAN GOSLING.

AM I RIGHT, LADIES?

>> Chris: POINTS.

ALL THE BANKS ARE WET TODAY.

>> TOM HANKS. RIGHT, COLIN?

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: POINTS.

MEGAN.

>> OH, THE GUY AT CHIPOTLE WHOGIVES ME DOUBLE MEAT FOR FREE.

>> Chris: POINTS.

STEVE AGEE.

>> MY WEED DEALER, CHRIS.

HIS NAME IS NOT CHRIS.

YOUR NAME IS CHRIS.

MY WEED DEALER IS DR. FIENSTEIN.

>> Chris: POINTS. COLIN.

>> CHRIS COLUMBUS, THE DIRECTOROF "HOME ALONE."

> Chris: AND A COUPLE OF"HARRY POTTERS."

>> THE WOMAN WHO GIVES ME MYBRAZILIAN WAX.

VERY TENDER HANDS.

>> THE PERSON WHO GIVES YOU A BJWHEN YOU GET BACK FROM THE GYM

AND HAVEN'T SHOWERED YET.

[BEEP] YOU GUYS.