Killer Bs - Is That Ted Cruz in a Wig?

Wednesday, February 3, 2016 02/03/2016 Views: 1,607

Burnie Burns, Gavin Free and Colton Dunn make up taglines for old VHS classics based on their strange covers. (3:27)

It's time to playKiller B's. Killer B's.

Now...

the hilarious hoarders overat the Found Footage Festival

are geniuses when it comes tocataloguing VHS-based weirdness

from a time before the Internet.

So I'm gonna show you a VHScover from their online gallery

and for 250 pointsyou have to give me

the tagline for that movie.

First up, first up, Herpes!

Gavin.

One in five Americansalready own this.

Points.Colton.

Uh, Herpes: the Burnie Burns story.

I mean...

Points.

It's a documentary--I kickstarted it.

-Is that a herpe?That's a her... -Yeah.

I think maybe you actuallydickstarted it.

Uh, Burnie.

Uh, featuring a specialintroduction by Paris Hilton.

-Yeah...-AUDIENCE: Ooh!

Points, yeah.

Where do you think I got it?

-(cheering, applause)-Yeah.

Uh, next up,

Hank's Christmas Glitter 2004".

Colton.

The joy of Christmasis in his heart,

-the glitter is in his dick.-Points.

Ah, the old dick glitter.

Gavin.

Won't make senseunless you've seen

the first 2,003 prequels.

Next up,

Flirting with magic: Your Secret to Dating Success.

That man looks successful.Colton.

Get laid then disappear.

(whooping)

Food group, food group.

Points. Gavin.

Not just a magician,he's also a Rohypnotist.

-Points. Nice.-Oh, nice.

Nice. Burnie.

The life storyof David Cop-a-feel.

Yes, points.

Points.

All right, last one-- 10 Crunchy Carrots.

10 Crunchy Carrots. Yes, Colton.

Ten carrots, three holes,you do the math.

Uh, Burnie.

When you're a veganeven the porridge sucks.

Points.

Yeah, Ga...Uh, yeah, but, Burnie,

all this pornis locally sourced, so...

Uh, I want you guysto get ready to rock,

because there's a little videoof this one.

♪ One crunchy carrotbroken in two ♪

♪ Gives a piece for me

♪ And a piece for you.

Delicious.

Uh...

Is that Ted Cruz in a wig?

That looks like...

That is (bleep) Ted Cruz.

Comedians, what happens next?Colton.

She swallows.