Uh, grab your folding chairsand brass knuckles
and head down to the mall,because Black Friday
is almost here! I mean, sure,some cowards will tell you
you could probably getthe same flat screen on Amazon
for less the following Monday,
but you knowit'll be so much sweeter
if you also get your nose brokenin a food court
by a guy on a Rascal.
It just makes you feel alive!
You're working for it!
So, comedians,as an employee presiding
over Black Friday madness,I would like you to give me
as many in-store announcementsas you can in 60 seconds.
And begin. Arielle.
Whomever left a small child inaisle seven, he's up for grabs.
Yes, points. Very good.James Davis.
This is President-elect Trump.
Why don't we havea White Friday?
That's something he would say!Points.
Attention, all shoppers,make peace with your god.
Points. James Davis.
You make a weapon out of it,you buy it.
All right, points. Arielle.
There are a few more iPhones inthat teargas cloud over there.
All right, points. James.
Aisles seven through nine haveseceded from the United States.
They are formingtheir own government. Dan.
Attention shoppers,I hate my life.
I should have finished college.
All right, points. Perfect.