The New York Times ran a story
about how the Trumpadministration is doing,
and it's dark!Literally.
Trump aides are reportedly so unfamiliar with the White House
that they have meetingsin the dark
because they can't findthe light switches.
Even sadder-- Trump apparentlysplits his time
between sitting aroundin his bathrobe watching TV
and giving inaccurate toursof the Oval Office.
He told one visitorthat the office's golden drapes
were used by FDR, but they wereactually made for Bill Clinton.
And that should bereally easy to remember,
'cause they threw outall the White House fabrics
-Got rid of 'em.-Oh! -Ugh!
It's like, "Get out.Just burn these.
-Just burn these."-Ugh! -(applause)
Of course, Trump said thearticle was just lies, tweeting,
"The failing @nytimes writestotal fiction concerning me.
"They have gotten it wrongfor two years,
and now they're making upstories and sources!"
And then he went backto watching Fox News
-on a TV George Washingtonbuilt. -(laughter)
So, comedians, what are someother fake White House facts
Donald Trump tells his tours?Ron Funches.
All the water fountainsare whites only.
-HARDWICK: All right.-(laughter and groaning)
-(cheers and applause)-PUDI: Yeah!
Mr. Alan Tudyk.
The Lincoln bedroom is namedafter our greatest president,
HARDWICK:Yes. Very good. Points.
-(cheers and applause)-HARDWICK: But that one's true.
-I think that one's true.-Fact. -That one is true.