FaceCrapp

May 2, 2017 - #HonestTVShows 05/02/2017 Views: 173

Mary Lynn Rajskub, Dave Hill and Hari Kondabolu find out how FaceApp transforms everyone from Steve Bannon to the Statue of Liberty. (4:19)

Social media is reallya narcissistic place,

which is why it's so popularwith teens and Donald Trump,

so it's no surprise thatlast week Facebook, Twitter,

and Instagram were flooded withselfies warped by the FaceApp,

the software that can make youlook older, younger,

swap your gender, and youcan even make you smile.

Look at what @kept_simple did

with this imagefrom the Great Depression.

(audience exclaiming)

What a...

What a, what a wonderfullyrespectful thing to do.

"History doesn't have to be sodepressing," it wrote.

Yeah. Nothing depressingabout a face-scanning app

that twists reality,so, comedians,

I'm gonna show you a picthat has been FaceApped,

and for 250 points I want youto answer a question about it.

First up,

although President currentlylooks like a jaundiced toe,

FaceApp shows us an alternatefuture where he is a young stud.

(laughter)

Oh, huh?

What's the name of hot Trump'steen drama?

Mary Lynn.

Josie and the Grab 'Em by the Pussycats.

Very well done!

Mary Lynn, points.

(cheering and applause)

Next, grouchy old man

and Patriots coachBill Belichick here

was turned back intoa little boy.

(laughter)

Tell us a fact about--

I can't tell which one's which.

Uh, tell us a factabout baby Belichick.

Dave.

He's actually a 36-year-oldlesbian named Jan.

HARDWICK:All right, points.

Mary Lynn.

He calls what he doesin his diaper "the browns."

HARDWICK: Yes, points.Very good, very good.

(cheering and applause)

Next one, @lindsaygoldwert

tweeted what the GOPwould look like as women.

And, uh-- but I thinkour favorite selfie

was maybe Lady Steve Bannonright there.

That's Lady Steve Bannon.

What's her political platform?

Dave.

Still a Nazi, only this timewith sensible shoes.

HARDWICK:All right, points.

Mary Lynn.

Tax breaks for the wealthy

and anyone who can teach herhow Facebook works.

HARDWICK:Ah, very good.

Very good, points.

(applause)

Next. Lady Liberty is giddy.

E...

Why is the Statue of Libertyso pleased?

Hari.

She's excited that Donald Trump

is about to deport her hometo France.

HARDWICK:Ah. Points.

Very good.

Dave Hill.

She's got, like, 80 guys in herright now.

-Who's... ?-(laughter)

(cheering and applause)

HARDWICK:Well done on that.

All right, all right,there you go.

Mary Lynn.

If there's a governmentshutdown,

she'll finally get a vacation.

-HARDWICK: Yeah, you guys.-She's smiling,

-'cause she's having a goodvacation. -Where should we go?

-HILL: That's good.-A vacation with 80 guys

-up in her, am I right?-HARDWICK: Yeah, Mary Lynn.

-Yes, yeah.-(whooping)

Crank it up.

Okay. We're doing thatone more time there.

Great. Yeah, pump it out,pump it out, Mary Lynn.

Oh, man.

And, uh, finally,I, of course, tried FaceApp,

and, uh, now I knowI'm a hot as (bleep) girl.

-Like, I am so (bleep).-(cheering and applause)

I mean...

(cheering continues)

You know you want some of that.

You know you wantsome of that.

-You're Kristin Bell?-I'm Kristin Bell.

(laughter)

Now I know what I'm gonna looklike when I get old, too.

There's old me.

I'll still be hosting 30 shows.

So, comedians...

What is it--

"Welcome to Talking Almost Dead."

What's a show old Hardwickwill host? Mary Lynn.

Shingled Out.

HARDWICK:Hey! Very good, points.

(cheering and applause)

Dave.

Talking Chris Not-So-Hardwick.

-Yeah, points.-Who's... who's with me?

It happens.

Uh, Hari.

-@4:00pm. -Yes, points.

Very good.

These are all true.

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