Etsy Pitchmen - It's Like a Wetsuit but for F**king

Monday, November 10, 2014 11/10/2014 Views: 168

After seeing bizarre crafts for sale on Etsy, Donald Faison, Eliza Coupe and Deon Cole must come up with taglines to try to sell the absurd items. (3:10)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY ETSY PITCHMAN.

THE ARRAY OF BIZARRE HANDMADEPRODUCTS ON ETSY HAVE TAUGHT US

THAT YOU CAN BE INSANE AND GROSSPERVO AND STILL BE A REMARKABLY

SKILLED AT CRAFTING.

COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOUA REAL PRODUCT AVAILABLE ON SALE

ON ETSY, AND FOR 250 POINTS, IWOULD LIKE A TAGLINE TO HELP

SELL IT.

FIRST ONE: THIS DEAD BABY SKULLDIP HOLDER.

DONALD.

>> PERFECT FOR THREATENING YOURKIDS.

>> CHRIS: YES, POINTS.

DEON.

>> DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BUY AMANDABYNES FOR CHRISTMAS.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

I WOULD GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THATONE.

NEXT ONE.

THIS CHINESE MADE SUIT.

IT'S LIKE A WET SUIT BUT FOR[BEEP].

ELIZA.

>> WELL, SINCE IT'S BLACK AND ITWON'T STAIN --

>> OH.>> NO! NO!

>> HERE WE GO!

>> ALL I HEARD WAS "SINCE IT'SBLACK."

>> WELL IT MEANS IT WON'T STAIN.

>> YEAH.>> THAT'S TRUE. THAT'S TRUE.

>> SO, YOU CAN EASILY JUST DO AQUICK TOSS OFF, HOSE OFF AND

HEAD TO CHURCH.

>> CHRIS: YEAH, THAT'SFINE.

POINTS.

OF COURSE POINTS.

>> CHRIS: NEXT ONE: THISPROSTHETIC MAN PIG MASK.

OH, DEAR SWEET LORD.

YES, DEON.

>> YOU WANT TO SCARE THE DRUGDEALERS ON YOUR BLOCK.

[LAUGHING]

>> YOU CAN BE A REAL PIG.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

NEXT ONE THIS BULK ORDER OFSPENT TOILET PAPER ROLLS.

YES, DEON.

>> A BOX OF GENERIC PUSSYPOCKETS.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

YES.

NOW OF COURSE EVERYONE KNOWSTHAT WHEN YOU'RE SHOPPING AT A

SEX STORE, IN THE ISLE THE TOPISLES HAVE THE NAME BRANDS, BUT

THE BOTTOM HAS A BAG OF >> -- GENERIC ONES.

>> CHRIS: THERE'S LIKE A QUALABEAR ON IT -- IT'S PUSS-POUCH,

OR WHATEVER, IT'S NOT ANAME-BRAND. DONALD.

>> FOR $11 I'LL SELL YOU THEPAPER.

[LAUGHING]

>> CHRIS: POINTS.

ELIZA.

>> HEY, POOR KIDS, HERE ARE SOMETELESCOPES.

>> CHRIS: YES, POINTS. SO GOOD.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> CHRIS: NICE -- NEXT ONE THISCATBOY SEX DOLL.

[LAUGHING]

DEON.

>> FINALLY A PUSSY THAT [BEEP]YOU.

>> CHRIS: POINTS.