Extended - Sledding Into Your DMs - Santa Fetishists Looking to Have Freaky Elf Sex

Extended - Thursday, December 18, 2014 - Uncensored 12/18/2014 Views: 570

Inspired by Craigslist personals that embrace the Christmas spirit, Drew Carey, Margaret Cho and Blaine Capatch write their own sexy seasonal dating messages (1:41)

IT'S TIME FOR SLEDDING INTO YOURDMS.

SLEDDING INTO YOUR DMS.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)SANTA NOW HAS THREE LISTS TO ADD

YOUR NAME TO: NAUGHTY, NICE, ANDCRAIGS.

ACCORDING TO SALON.COM, THE WEBSITE'S CASUAL ENCOUNTERS SECTION

IS STUFFED WITH SANTA FETISHISTSLOOKING TO HAVE FREAKY ELF SEX

AND MAKE BAD CHRISTMAS PUNSWHILE THEY DO IT.

LIKE THIS SUBTLE SINTERKLAASRIGHT HERE.

"MARRIED SANTA HAS HAD A ROCKHARD CANDY CANE ALL DAY AND MY

CHESTNUTS ARE SO FILLED WITHCREAM THAT THEY ARE ACHING."

OKAY, LISTEN HERE, CLAUSBANGERS, MAKING BAD CHRISTMAS

PUNS ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH, UH,SANTA IS OUR JOB.

SO, COMEDIANS, I WOULD LIKE YOUTO COME UP WITH AS MANY DMS FROM

SANTA AS YOU CAN.

60 SECONDS. AND GO.

(BELL DINGS)YES, DREW.

>> UH, MORNING, SEXY. YOU UP?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)BLAINE.

>> UH, SORRY, THAT PICTURE WASSUPPOSED TO BE FOR MRS. CLAUS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)MARGARET.

>> YO, HOW TIGHT THAT CHIMNEY?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)BLAINE.

>> UH, RUDOLPH DRUNK. SEND HELP.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)DREW.

>> UH, RUDOLPH HAS A RED ASSNOW, TOO.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE...

(BELL DINGS)...THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING

THE LEAD REINDEER!

>> YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: MARGARET.

>> WHERE MY HO, HO, HOS AT?

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)DREW CAREY.

>> I WANT TO "SLEIGH" THAT ASS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

YEAH.

YEAH.

(BELL DINGS)MARGARET.

>> UM, DO YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE ALUMP OF COAL ON YOUR CHEST?

(GROANING)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.