Rapid Refresh - The Future of Sports & A Sex Toy for Widows

Monday, April 27, 2015 04/27/2015 Views: 492

Tom Rhodes, Kevin Pollak and Eddie Izzard narrate a college video game championship and then come up with taglines for a dildo filled with cremated remains. (3:33)

RIPPED FROM THE INTERNETHEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH.

ALL RIGHT.

BIG, BIG WEEKEND FOR SPORTS.

AND I AIN'T TALKIN' ABOUT YOURDADDY'S SPORTS.

WHO NEEDS PLAY-OFF HOCKEY ANDBASKETBALL WHEN YOU HAVE ESPN'S

TWO-HOUR COVERAGE OF THECOLLEGE VIDEO GAME CHAMPIONSHIP

AKA HEROES OF THE DORM,PRESENTED BY BLIZZARD WHICH

IS AWESOME.

I'M SO GLAD THEY DID THIS.

THE CHAMPIONSHIP FEATURED TOPSEEDED VIDEO GAME TEAMS FROM UC

BERKELEY AND ASU.

I AM ASSUMING UC SANTA CRUZSLEPT IN.

THEY WERE IN FRONT OF A PACKEDHOUSING COLLEGE KIDS PLAYED

VIDEO GAMES. NO ONE WAS MOREBLOWN AWAY THAN THIS GUY ON THIS

VINE.

THERE HE IS.

WOW.

THEY SHOULD'VE SENT A POET.

IT WAS COOL -- THEY GAVEFULL COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIPS TO

THE WINNING TEAM.

SO LET'S SEE SOME OF THATHOT GAME ON GAME ACTION

RIGHT THERE.

>> WELCOME DOWN!

>> Chris: I MEAN, THIS IS THEFUTURE OF SPORTS.

I WOULD WATCH SPORTS IF THISWAS ALL SPORTS, YOU GUYS.

I DON'T-- I DON'T CARE HOWMUCH YOU CAN BRENCH PRESS IN

REAL LIFE.

I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH HIGHSCHOOL SPORTS YOU PLAYED.

I WANNA SEE WIZARDS LIGHTING(BLEEP) UP WITH LIGHTENING

WANDS.

THAT'S EXCITING TO ME.

SO COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO HOLDAN AUDITION FOR VIDEO GAME

CHAMPIONSHIP COMMENTATOR.

PUT ON YOUR FIGURATEOVER-SIZED HEADSET AND DELIVER

SOME KILLER COLOR COMMENTARYKILLERS OF THE DORM.

KEVIN POLLAK.

>> LARRY, I DON'T KNOW WHATTHE HELL IS GOING ON HERE,

BUT I JUST [BLEEP] MYSELF.

>> Chris: POINTS.

EDDIE.

>> YEAH, COMING IN, THE'RE BLUEONES, THERE'S GREEN ONE, THE

RED ONES, NO WAIT --

WHAT THE [BLEEP] IS A DRAGODOING THERE.

OH NO, EVERYONE'S DEAD -- OH,NOW HE'S BLUE AGAIN.

>> Chris: POINTS, POINTS.

MOVING ON --

IF YOU RECENTLY HAVE LOST ALOVED ONE AND ARE YOU

LOOKING FOR A SOLEMN ANDDIGNIFIED WAY TO SEND THEM

OFF, DUTCH ARTIST MARKSYERKINVIM HAS ANNOUNCED

AN EXCITING NEW SOLUTION.

WHY NOT PLACE THE ASHES OFYOUR DEARLY DEPARTED IN A

DILDO?

THERE IT IS.

YUP.

YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT THERE INTHAT SKEXY'S GRIP.

THIS IS A REAL DILDO THATCONTAINS REAL REMAINS THAT

YOU CAN STICK IN YOUR REALORIFICE.

>> IS THIS FROM EUROPE?

IS THIS A WHOLE NIGHT OF JUSTWEIRD STUFF COMING OUT OF

EUROPE?

AS IF NOTHING WEIRD HAPPENS INAMERICA.

>> Chris: AMERICA, MAN. LOVE ITOR [BLEEP] LEAVE T YOU KNOW.

I MEAN --

IT'S NOT WEIRD.

>> THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY INHOLLAND AS WELL.

HOLLAND, MAN. LOVE IT FOR(BLEEPING) LEAVE IT!

>> Chris: I'M JUST-- MAYBEGRANDPA CAN FINALLY MAKE GRANDMA

[BLEEP] IN DEATH.

FINALLY, AFTER 40 YEARS.

TALK ABOUT A WIDOW'S PEAK.

COMEDIANS, WHAT IS THE SLOGANYOU WOULD USE TO SELL THIS

THIS MOROSE WIDOW AID. KEVIN,

>> ARE YOU TIRED OF YOU BEINGTHE ONLY ONE DEAD INSIDE OF YOU?

>> Chris: POINTS.