Extended - #HashtagWars - #ThanksgivingIn5Words - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, November 19, 2015 - Uncensored 11/19/2015 Views: 354

With Thanksgiving approaching, Emmy Blotnick, Johnny Pemberton and Ron Funches describe a typical holiday celebration with their loved ones. (1:40)

IT'S NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'SHASHTAG WARS.

(CHEERING)AH, THANKSGIVING-- THAT DAY

WHERE YOU TRY TO EAT AS MUCHPUMPKIN PIE AS POSSIBLE BEFORE

YOUR UNCLE TEACHES YOU HOW TODRAW A TURKEY BY TRACING HIS

PENIS. UH...

(LAUGHTER, GROANING)HEY, KIDS, GOBBLE, GOBBLE.

(LAUGHTER)UH...

>> AT LEAST HE DIDN'T NEGLECTTHE BALLS, YOU KNOW?

>> HARDWICK: NO. UH, IT'SADORABLE-- IT LOOKS LIKE A

LITTLE PILGRIM.

AND IT... AND IT SPREADS DISEASELIKE ONE, TOO.

(LAUGHTER)SO IN HONOR OF ALL OUR UPCOMING

TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES, TONIGHT'SHASHTAG IS THANKSGIVINGIN5WORDS.

THANKSGIVINGIN5WORDS.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE... SECRETLYFUCK THE CRANBERRY SAUCE, AND...

SORRY, INDIANS, HERE'S SOMECASINOS.

UH, I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ONTHE CLOCK, AND BEGIN.

RONALD FUNCHES.

>> POLITICAL CONVERSATIONSENDING IN ARREST.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)EMMY BLOTNICK.

>> DOES CRANBERRY SAUCE CUREUTI?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

YEAH, YEAH, IF YOU SMEAR IT ON,THAT'S WHAT I HEARD.

JOHNNY.

>> MY UNCLE DAVE'S ON ACID.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

FUNCHES.

>> WHICH BROWNIES DID YOU EAT?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

EMMY BLOTNICK.

>> (SLURRING): DONALD TRUMPMAKES SOME EXCELLENT POINTS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

JOHNNY.

>> MASTURBATED IN MY CHILDHOODBED.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

RON FUNCHES.

>> HEY, THE COPS ARE HERE.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)EMMY.

>> GRANDMA LOVES CHARDONNAY,HATES WELFARE.