Lather, Repeal, Replace

Wednesday, March 22, 2017 03/22/2017 Views: 236

As the House prepares to vote to repeal Obamacare, Eugene Mirman, Hari Kondabolu and Greg Proops offer Republican-friendly enhancements to the GOP's proposed health care bill. (1:18)

Tomorrow, the House will voteto repeal Obamacare,

so if you're thinkingabout getting

a life threatening illness

that could bankruptyou and your family,

today's the day!

Republicans need 216 votes

and only have a margin of errorof 21 votes,

which is much smaller than the3 million vote margin of error

they needed to win the election.

That is why Steve Bannonsent his assistant,

thrice-marriedAtlantic City casino magnate

and ex-Pizza Hut spokesmanDonald Trump,

to convince Republicansto take health insurance away

from millions of people.

Also to golfand, time permitting,

avoid his third wife.

Now, back in Mordor, D.C.,House Speaker

and sociopath Mickey Mouse Club member Paul Ryan

has been leading the effort

and enticing amendmentsto the new health bill

to attractmore Republican votes,

because the thoughtof kicking 14 million people

off their health insurance

just isn't doing itfor him anymore, you guys.

So, comedians,what amendments can they add

to the American Health Care Act

to make it more attractiveto Republicans?

-(bell dings)-Hari.

Health care is free

to anyone who agreesto be a slave.

-Okay. All right.-(laughter)

I'll give you points for that.

-(bell dings)-Uh, Eugene.

Um, if you are a diagnosedwith an STD,

Paul Ryan pushes youout a window.

-All right. Points.-(laughter)

Points.

-(bell dings)-Greg Proops.

Uh, some young boysin an airport restroom?

-All right, points. Points.-(laughter)

All Shows

#
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z