Extended - Beauty and the BuzzFeed - The Slow, Soft Hand of a Sloth - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, November 12, 2015 - Uncensored 11/12/2015 Views: 232

Guy Branum, Diedrich Bader and Janet Varney name the movies that strange fan-art re-imaginings of Disney princesses would star in. (4:40)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY BEAUTY AND THEBUZZ FEED.

BEAUTY AND THE BUZZ FEED. THE...

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)AW.

AW...

THAT'S SO NICE.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THISGAME IS YET.

(LAUGHTER)>> VERY SUPPORTIVE.

>> HARDWICK: VERY SUPPORTIVE.

(LAUGHTER)THE WORLD IS CHANGING FASTER

THAN EVER-- HOLOGRAMS PERFORM INSTADIUMS, HOVERBOARDS ARE A

THING, AND YOU CAN SEE A PICTUREOF SOMEONE'S DICK PRETTY MUCH

CONSTANTLY-- BUT... THERE'S...

OH, GOOD, YEAH.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> IT'S A BEAUTIFUL WORLD.

>> HARDWICK: BUT... THERE'S ONETHING IN THIS WORLD THAT WE CAN

ALWAYS RELY ON-- CLICKBAITARTICLES WITH DISNEY PRINCESSES

LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THEMBEFORE!

SO, COMEDIANS, I'M GONNA SHOWYOU A PICTURE OF A DISNEY

PRINCESS REDRAWN TO BE SOMEONEELSE, AND I WANT YOU TO TELL ME

WHAT DISNEY MOVIE SHE WOULD BEIN.

FIRST UP, WE HAVE THE ANGRIESTPUMPKIN, DONALD TRUMP.

GUY.

>> SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVENMILLION DEPORTEES.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

POINTS.

JANET.

>> SNOW WHITE IS THE BEST RACE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS, POINTS.

>> LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO EATTHE BIRD.

>> HARDWICK: I THINK HE...

I THINK HE JU... I THINK HE HADOTHER ONES THAT HE DID ACTUALLY

EAT AND THIS-THIS LAST ONE,LIKE, "DON'T YOU FUCKING CROSS

ME-- I'LL EAT YOU LIKE I ATETHOSE OTHER ONES."

NEXT UP, UH, IS A FAN MASHUPWITH 50 SHADES OF DISNEY

PRINCESSES.

>> WHOA!

AW.

THAT'S A DIRTY BATH.

>> HARDWICK: GUY BRANUM.

>> UNDER THE SEA... U.N.T.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

>> TAGLINE: DARLING, IT'S BETTERDOWN WHERE IT'S WETTER.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME. UH... OH.

I HOPE THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE HASCRABS.

DIEDRICH.

>> UH, SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA, GO ONAND FIST THE GIRL.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

UH, MOVING ON.

WE'LL, UH, SLOW THINGS DOWN.

AH.

THERE YOU GO.

JANET.

>> BEAUTY AND THE YOU KNOW SOMEWEIRDOS JERK OFF TO THIS.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

>> GUARANTEE IT, GUARANTEE IT.

>> HARDWICK: I MEAN...

I MEAN, WHY WOULD AN... WHYWOULD ANYONE FIND THAT...

SEXUALLY AROUSING.

THE SLOW, SOFT HAND OF A SLOTH.

YEAH, SLOTH TAKE THEIR TIME.

>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE.

THE MAN WHO WILL SAY YES TO ANYROLE, INCLUDING DISNEY

PRINCESSES, NICOLAS CAGE.

(BELL DINGS)JANET VARNEY.

>> UH, SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVENYEARS SINCE HE MADE A GOOD

MOVIE.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

BEEN A LONG TIME.

BEEN A LONG TIME.

DIEDRICH.

>> MY ASSETS ARE FROZEN.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS, OH,VERY GOOD.

VERY GOOD.

>> VERY NICE.

>> HARDWICK: OH, YOU'RE TAKINGMY HOUSE. I GUESS I HAVE TO

♪ LET IT GO, LET IT GO. NEXT ONE, A THIRSTY FAN DREW THE

GIRLS AS LUKEWARM BOWLS OFWATER.

S-STRANGE.

>> PEOPLE DO THIS?

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, PEOPLE DOTHIS, YEAH.

JANET.

>> ♪ A BOWL NEW WORLD. >> HARDWICK: OH, NO, OH...

OH, OH, OW.

OH.

THAT... OH.

OW, MY STOMACH.

MY STOMACH REALLY HURTS.

>> OH, THANK YOU.

>> HARDWICK: OH... OH.

CAN I BE EXCUSED TO GO SEE THENURSE?

I DON'T FEEL TOO GOOD AFTER THATJOKE.

UH, GUY.

>> HOW ALADDIN GOT HIS DICK WET.

>> YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: MAN, I KNEW ISHOULD HAVE ASKED THAT GENIE FOR

SOMETHING BEFORE I SET HIM FREE.

FINALLY, THIS.

(BELL DINGS)SO... CONFLICTED.

UH, JANET.

>> THE PRINCESS WHO SPENT SOMUCH TIME ON HER COMPUTER

PHOTOSHOPPING DISNEY THAT SHENEVER GOT LAID.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

>> EVER.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

OH, MY GOD, I-I AM CONFLICTEDABOUT IT.

>> IS ANYONE AROUSED BY THIS?

>> DON'T...

>> THIS IS A SAFE PLACE.

>> DON'T PRETEND YOU'VE NEVERWANTED TO FUCK A MINION.

I MEAN...

>> HARDWICK: NO, NO, YOU DON'TFUCK A MINION, YOU JUST, YOU...

>> SORT OF A SUPPOSITORY, YEAH.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, YEAH.

>> (IMITATES MINION)>> HARDWICK: AND YOU JUST WATCH

THEIR LITTLE LEGS KICK WHENYOU...

AND THEN YOU JUST SAY TOYOURSELF, "OH, DESPICABLE ME."