It's time to play Sketch Comedy.Sketch Comedy.
Courtroom sketch artistsare like drunks
that witness a car accident
and then try to draw itwith their mouths.
I'm not sure whythey don't just use cameras,
but who am I to judge a judge?
So, comedians, I'm gonnashow you a bad courtroom sketch,
and for 250 points, just answera few simple questions.
And remember,you are under oath.
First up--bailiff, what's our next case?
-Hayes. -The UPS Guyversus the Traffic Cone
That ThoughtIt Was Better Than Him.
-David. -Your Honor,it's a case of my ex-wife
marrying Jim Simmons--he used to be
my best friend in the world!
-All right. Points.-(applause, cheering)
Next up--you may cross-examine.
Mr. Carrot Top,you've been accused
of murdering a woman...
with a toilet seattied to a baseball bat.
Points. Next up, next up--
closing statements,closing statements.
Before we sentencethis guy to death,
give it up for Randyon the keys!
Just playing"Stairway to Heaven."
-MacARTHUR:Tickling the ivories. -Drée.
Uh, the defense rests,Your Honor.
Jimmy, hit it.♪ Never gonna give you up
-♪ Never gonna let you down. -Yeah, points. Points.
Ladies and gentlemen of thejury, I'd like to thank you all
for hanging out for 12 weeksof laborious testimony.
Before you leave,tip your waitstaff.
Finally, please risefor your sentence.
I don't get up for anything lessthan a paragraph.
Well played indeed.
Uh, the courtfinds you free to go.
However, your faceand sweater sentence you
to a lifetimeof solitary confinement.