Extended - What Did Gerard Depardieu? - Known for Scootering While Intoxicated - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, October 9, 2014 - Uncensored 10/09/2014 Views: 449

Gerard Depardieu makes some outrageous claims in his new autobiography, so Grace Helbig, Henry Zebrowski and Matt Mira come up with more outlandish stories about the actor. (2:42)

WHAT DID GERARD DEPARDIEU?

>> YES, YES, YES, YES!

>> YEAH!

>> HARDWICK: NEWSER IS REPORTINGTHAT BLACKOUT DAY DRINKER AND

TALKING SLOTH GERARD DEPARDIEUHAS RELEASED A NEW AUTOBIOGRAPHY

ENTITLED "THAT'S THE WAY ITWAS," CHRONICLING THE EVENTS OF

HIS LIFE AS HE'S BEEN ABLE TOHAZILY PIECE THEM TOGETHER.

THE BOOK HAS SOME AMAZINGREVELATIONS LIKE...

(LAUGHTER)>> I LOVE THIS.

WHAT IS HE HOLDING?

>> WHY IS THIS ONLY SEPARATED BYA COMMA?

>> "WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DOG?

WHY IS HE INVISIBLE?">> "I, UH...

I USED TO TAKE MY JOHNS TO THEGRAVEYARD.

WE WOULD ROB THE GRAVES FOR APLACE TO FUCK IN THE GROUND.

ALSO, UH, I CANNOT BE KILLED BYCONVENTIONAL METHODS."

>> MAY I... JUST ONE, QUICKLY,THING.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

>> "GERARD DEPARDIEU, KNOWNMOSTLY RECENTLY FOR SCOOTERING

WHILE INTOXICATED."

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

HE DEFECTED TO RUSSIA AND HEPEED ON THAT PLANE.

AND IF HE ACTUALLY WAS A MALEPROSTITUTE, THERE'S NO WAY THAT

SOMEONE HASN'T PHOTOSHOPPED ADICK RIGHT THERE.

NOW...

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)"I CALL IT THE FRENCHMAN'S

PINCH.

I WOULD GRAB IT...

LIKE THIS..."

>> "I SNAP BACK AND FORTH."

>> HARDWICK: "BACK AND FORTH."

>> THAT'S MY FRENCH.

>> HARDWICK: "I WOULD CALL THISTHE MOANING LISA.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)I W...

THIS MOVE WAS THE GUY-FULLTOWER."

CONSIDERING HE HAS NOT BEENSOBER SINCE 1971, IT'S ANYONE'S

GUESS AS TO WHAT ELSE THISPORTLY PIRATE HAS BEEN UP TO.

SO, COMEDIANS, GIVE ME AS MANYFACTS AS YOU CAN ABOUT GERARD

DEPARDIEU'S LIFE.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK.

AND GO.

(BELL DINGS)MATT.

>> WAS ALMOST HUNTED TOEXTINCTION BY AFRICAN POACHERS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)GRACE.

>> HE TIPS IN MASHED POTATOES.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)HENRY.

>> HIS SHIRT SIZE IS DRUNKFRENCH RHINO.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)MATT.

>> UH, TWICE WEEKLY, HE SWEATSHIS WEIGHT IN BUTTER.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)GRACE.

>> HE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDEBUT ENDED UP WATCHING "AMELIE"

AGAIN.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)HENRY.

>> HE ONCE TOOK A SHIT IN AFOUNTAIN BECAUSE HE THOUGHT IT

WAS A FANCY TOILET.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)I'M POSITIVE THAT ONE ACTUALLY

HAPPENED.

GRACE.

>> HE CREATED "GOSSIP GIRL."

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)HENRY.

>> UM, HE ONCE ACCIDENTALLY ATEHIS OWN SHOES BECAUSE HE THOUGHT

THE LACES WERE BROWN SPAGHETTI.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

(BUZZER SOUNDS)