Microsoft has announced plansto acquire LinkedIn
for $26.2 billion,
making historyas the most anyone has ever paid
for a list of peoplewithout jobs.
hopefully,Microsoft does something
about all the e-mails sent to me
asking me to join LinkedIneven after I've opted out!
Every single time.
LinkedIn is basically"It follows, the Web site."
And I imagineMicrosoft just bought it
so they could (bleep)stop getting e-mails
from LinkedIn, as well.
Extremely...extremely ironic and sad,
because Clippy, the paper clip,
has been a LinkedIn power usersince being laid off in 2008.
Tough times for Clippy.Oh, no.
-(laughter) -Oh. That's too bad.-Oh, Clippy.
(in high-pitched voice):I can stretch my body
and do a reach-around
for five more.
Microsoft is calling it a deal
between the world'sleading professional cloud
and the world'sleading professional network
which is what I planon telling my children
to help them fall asleep.
Comedians,what's an even worse merger?
-Horatio.-Oh, my penis and my zipper.
-(applause and cheering)-Yes.
That is, uh...that's the other LinkedIn.
Points for you.Nick Swardson.
Uh, Ecstasyand my family reunion.
-HARDWICK: All right.-(laughter, applause)
-Points. Mary Lynn.-The Catholic Church and Grindr.
-(laughter and groaning)-HARDWICK: Well, I don't know.
-Wait a minute.Think about it. -(applause)