We Cringe You a Merry Cringe-Mas - Can Dogs Do That?

Tuesday, December 15, 2015 12/15/2015 Views: 315

After watching cringeworthy holiday music videos, Meaghan Rath, Jak Knight and Andrew Santino wonder what the performers might have on their wish lists. (5:38)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY.

"WE CRINGE YOU A MERRYCRINGE-MAS."

BY NOW YOU'RE PROBABLY ALREADYSICK OF ALL THE HOLIDAY MUSIC

BEING BLASTED UP YOUR CHEER HOLEFROM EVERY SPEAKER IN THE WORLD.

ESPECIALLY THE [BEEP] CHRISTMASSHOES SONG.

COME ON!

PATON OSWALT DOES A GREATDECONSTRUCTION OF THAT ONLINE.

IF YOU CAN FIND IT, I HIGHLYRECOMMEND IT.

COMEDIANS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOUA HOLIDAY SONG THAT SHOULD BE A

NEW CLASSIC AND FOR 250 POINTSYOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TELL ME

WHAT IS ON THAT ARTIST'S HOLIDAYWISH LIST.

FIRST UP, JAN TERI WITH "EXCUSEMY CHRISTMAS:"

>> IN SPANISH THEY SAY FELIZNAVIDAD, FELIZ NAVIDAD THIS

CHRISTMAS.

ALL I CAN SAY IS EXCUSE MYCHRISTMAS.

>> CHRIS: WHAT DOES SHE WANT FORCHRISTMAS?

JAK.

>> ADOBE PREMIERE AND SOME GOODDICK.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: I'M LAUGHING MORE AT

THE ADOBE PREMIERE RIGHT NOW.

>> SOMETHING FOR EVERYBODY, MAN.

Chris: LIKE JOKE SANTA.

ONE FOR YOU, ONE FOR YOU.

ANDREW.

>> I'M GOING WITH PARENTS THATAREN'T RELATED.

[BEEP]>> Chris: POINTS.

>> WOULDN'T THAT BE NICE.

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE.

>> CHRIS: FROM THE WORLD OFPUBLIC ACCESS, CARL AND DONNA

WALKER:♪ DEEP IN THE NIGHT THE ANGELS

WERE HEARD♪ WE SHALL BEHOLD, WE SHALL

BEHOLD>> Chris: SO THE QUESTION IS

WHAT DO THEY WANT FOR CHRISTMAS.

ANDREW.

>> HE WANTS THE AGE OF CONSENTLOWERED.

[LAUGHING]>> SHE JUST WANTS TO ESCAPE THE

ETERNAL HELL THAT IS HER LIFE.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> YES.

Chris: VERY GOOD.

>> I MEAN FOR THEIR DAUGHTER TOCOME BACK TO LIFE.

[LAUGHING]>> IF THEY REMEMBER WHERE THEY

BURIED HER.

>> Chris: THEY CAN'T REMEMBER.

THE YARD IS BIG.

>> CHRIS: STRAIGHT OUTTA THEUKRAINE, IT'S AZA WITH "HUNKY

SANTA:">> WHATS YOUR NAME?

DO YOU WANT TO BE MY SANTA?

CALL ME AND HERE IS MY NUMBER.

>> OKAY.

Chris: PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TOYOUR COUNTRY.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: WHAT DOES SHE WANT FOR

CHRISTMAS.

>> A INVITATION TO HERDAUGHTER'S WEDDING.

[LAUGHING]>> Chris: NEXT UP THIS HANUKKAH

HIP HOP PARODY.

♪[LAUGHING]

♪[LAUGHING]

>> Chris: FOR REALS.

WHAT DO THESE GUYS WANT FORHANUKKAH.

>> FOR DRAKE TO BE FULLY JEWISHSO THEY CAN CLAIM HIM.

>> Chris: YES, YES.

MEAGHAN.

>> --[LAUGHING]

>> FORESKIN.

Chris: ANDREW.

>> THEIR LONG ISLAND GIRLFRIENDSTO FINALLY GIVE THEM BLOW JOBS.

>> NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

>> NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

>> AHHH.

>> NO, NO.

Chris: AND THE EMMY FOR BEST[BEEP] GOES TO, ANDREW SANTINO.

NEXT NOW, A LITTLE DRUMMER BOYAS INTERPRETED BY THE BAND

COFFIN [BEEP]>> I AM A POOR BOY TOO, PA RUM

PUM PUM PUM.

>> I AM A POOR BOY TOO, PA RUMPUM PUM PUM.

>> NOT HOW I PICTURED THE SONGSLOOK LIKE BEING RECORDED.

I HAD A MUCH DIFFERENT IMAGEIN MY HEAD.

>> Chris: WHAT DOES COFFIN[BEEP] WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?

>> FOR MOM TO HURRY UP WITH THEPIZZA ROLLS.

>> Chris: YA.

>> COME ON!

MY FRIENDS ARE HERE!

>> GET OUT MY ROOM.

>> I TOLD EVERYONE ELSE INCOFFIN [BEEP] WE'D HAVE PIZZA

ROLLS.

>> Chris: FINALLY THIS HOLIDAYCLASSIC.

♪>> MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW

MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOWMEOW MEOW MEOW.

(TO THE TUNE OF "OH COME ALL YEFAITHFUL")

>> Chris: WHERE YOU AT CARLYFIORINA! CAN DOGS DO THAT?

[ APPLAUSE ]>> CHRIS: WHAT DO THESE LITTLE

GUYS WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?

>> FOR THEIR OWNER TO DIE SOTHEY CAN EAT HER FACE.

>> Chris: YES OF COURSE THAT'SWHAT THEY'RE SAYING.