Commuters in Washington, DCwere treated Monday night
to a little free pornography,which is a step up
from their usual guybeating off on the bus.
This adult relaxation zoetropewas inadvertently projected
onto a public screenin Union Station.
Now, it's totally censored here,
but a lady, um, is, uh,butterflied
open and just playingthe washboard, uh, right there.
That is another way you couldget splinters in your vagina.
-(laughter) -I didn't evenrealize, but if you washboard...
HARDWICK: Between that and...yeah. Playing a washboard.
-(applause) -Yeah. That's whythere's not a lot of...
That's why there's not a lotof nude jug bands.
You guys, we have to hurry up.Gilbert's gonna fall asleep.
It's way past his bedtime.
What makes that funnier iswe're filming this at 4:00 p.m.
Anyone watching is like, "Oh,it's midnight." No, it's 4:00.
-(applause and cheering)-4:00.
This video was from...
-This video was from... -(likeGottfried): My bedtime was 1971!
(cheers and applause)
HARDWICK (like Gottfried):I got in my pajamas
-when Nixon resigned.-(laughter)
(applause and cheering)
(Cummings sighs heavily)
This view was from PornHub,
and apparently, played unnoticedfor three full minutes,
which is more than enough time
to rub one outunder your briefcase
before anyone realizesyou're Steve Bannon.
So, comedians,what are some DC
porn movies? What aresome DC porn movies? Whitney.
-The Oval Orifice. -HARDWICK:Yes, points. -(laughter)
Uh, The Gay-braham Blumpkin Memorial.
Uh, Gilbert Gottfried.
All the President's Semen.
-Yes, points.-(laughter, applause)