Wonder Woah, Man: It's Not Fox Comics

June 5, 2017 - #BasketballTV 06/05/2017 Views: 248

The pundits at Fox News griped about the lack of patriotism in "Wonder Woman," so Jessica Lowe, Alan Yang and Jon Daly guess what other box office complaints they'll have. (2:05)

Wonder Woman dominatedat the box office this weekend

with some of the best reviewsever for a superhero movie

and a record openingfor a female director.

It was also the rare DC Comicsmovie that wasn't so dark

and brooding you'd thinkit was written through a cloud

of vape smokein a hot topic break room.

But... but, of course,

not everyone was thrilledabout it.

The always in-touch and neverinsane pundits at Fox News

complained that Wonder Woman wasn't patriotic enough!

(audience groaning)

They were upset that her outfitwasn't red, white and blue,

and that the movie didn'tmention America enough.

Well, I guessthat would make sense,

except thatWonder Woman isn't American!

-There's a thing.How about that? -(laughter)

I mean, she's not...she's not American.

She's not American.Anyone who's even

passingly familiarwith the character knows

that she'sfrom the island of Themyscria,

or Themascareah,as she says it in the movie,

originally knownas Paradise Island before

the Crisis on Infinite Earthsstoryline in 1985.

Well, maybethey're more familiar

with Justice League storieswhere Wonder Woman's often seen

in the league's watchtower,except--

oh, wait-- that's on the moon,(bleep) wads!

And the last time I checked,the moon was not in America,

even though, apparently, thereis a flag on there somewhere.

Uh, so, who knows? Who knows?

Uh, maybe you guys are right,maybe I'm right.

But I feel like,maybe I know a little bit more

about continuity then Fox News,bitch.

That's why it's not called...

-(applause and cheering)-That's why it's not Fox Comics.

And also...

really great jobjerking yourselves off

about Wonder Woman's outfitcolors on a news channel,

'cause there's nothing elsegoing on

in the world at the moment,you guys.

So, comedians,what's another complaint

Fox News hasabout a big summer movie?

-Jon Daly. -Uh, well,Sean Hannity was saying

That Captain Underpants wasn't sexy enough.

-(laughter)-HARDWICK: All right.

-Points.-Like, lose the underpants.

-Too much underpants,too much underpants. -Yeah.

Yes. Alan.

All the characters in Cars 3 are goddamn hippie hybrids.

-HARDWICK: All right, points.-(laughter)

Points. Yes.

Now, um,I'm not a map-matician, but, um,

I think the Caribbean issomewhere close to 'Merica,

so shouldn't there be a American Pirate of the Caribbean?

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