Dunce Like Nobody's Watching - Swimming Through a Pussy River

Monday, August 17, 2015 08/17/2015 Views: 1,306

Now that lame newscasters have ruined the Nae Nae for everyone, Bridey Elliott, Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham name some other potential dance crazes. (6:06)

IT'S TIME TO PLAY DUNCE LIKENOBODY'S WATCHING.

(APPLAUSE)THE NAE NAE IS THE INTERNET

DANCE CRAZE DU JOUR BLOWINGUP THE VINES AND THE GRAMS

AND THE WHATNOTS.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BETHE BEARER OF BAD NEWS HERE

BUT I MUST PRONOUNCE THE NAENAE DEAD.

>> NO!

>> Chris: YES, LET IT GO!

YES!

>> MY TWO-YEAR-OLD JUSTLEARNED IT.

MY TWO-YEAR-OLD--I DIDN'TKNOW WHAT THE NAE NAE WAS--

>> Chris: LENNON, I'M SOSORRY, ARE YOU OKAY, I

DIDN'T MEAN TO SHATTERYOUR --

>> IT'S OKAY.

>> Chris: I KNOW.

WELL, LISTEN, IT'S SIMPLYBECAUSE LOCAL NEWS TEAMS

HAVE GOTTEN THEIR DESPERATESELF-TANNER-SOAKED HANDS ON IT

AND IT'S NOT PRETTY.

WATCH.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

>> WATCH ME.

IT FEELS VERY AWKWARDDOESN'T IT.

>> Chris: MY EYES!

SO MUCH WHITENESS. IT IS THEDANCE EQUIVALENT OF A MASON JAR

WRAPPED IN A NORTH FACEJACKET IN THE MOSH PIT OF A

HOOBASTANK CONCERT.

(APPLAUSE)I THINK I'M HEMORRHAGING.

BECAUSE THESE [BLEEP]MONSTERS HAVE RUINED A

PERFECTLY GOOD DANCE CRAZE.

WE NEED A NEW ONE.

SO I WILL SHOW YOU ANINTERNET DANCER. FOR 250

POINTS, I WANT YOU TO NAMETHEIR DANCE, ALL RIGHT?

FIRST UP, THIS MIDDLE-AGEDBOOZE ENJOYER.

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: WHAT'S THAT CALLED?

BRIDEY.

>> THAT IS A TRADITIONALIRISH FUNERAL DANCE

I KNOW VERY WELL, VERY CLOSETO MY HEART, ACTUALLY.

>> Chris: NEXT UP THESESURPRISINGLY SINGLE FURRIES.

♪ IF YOU LIKED IT, THEN YOUSHOULD HAVE PUT A LEASH ON IT.

♪♪

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: SOMETIMES MY JOB

IS REALLY HARD.

(LAUGHTER)SOMETIMES IT'S HARD.

>> I THOUGHT THAT, SEE THEFOX, I THOUGHT THOUGH WERE

HIS BALLS, DID YOU SEE THAT?

AND I WAS LIKE THAT IS SOMELOW HANGING FRUIT.

BUT HIS PENIS WOULD HAVEBEEN COMING OUT THE

WRONG SIDE.

>> Chris: I THOUGHT YOUTHOUGHT THIS.

I'M LIKE -->> I WAS SO CONFUSED.

>> Chris: WHOSE STEAMROLLEDBALLS HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING AT?

BRIDEY.

>> AT HOME AND PERSONAL WITHYOUR MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHERS.

>> THAT IS DARK.

>> Chris: NEXT UP, FROMPERFORMANCE ARTIST MELATI

SURYODARMO, THE INTRIGUING PIECEENTITLED "BUTTERDANCE."

>> YES.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: LENNON.

>> THE "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'SNOT ART."

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)>> Chris: YES.

JESSICA.

>> HOW ABOUT "THE PAULA DEENLEAN"?

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS.

>> Chris: BRIDEY.

>> THE MARGARINE-A.

>> Chris: YEAH, POINTS. NEXTUP. FROM OUR PALS AT

EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE, IT'SDUANE.

>> DUANE.

♪ (LAUGHTER)

>> YES.

THAT WAS YOU.

IS THIS YOU?

AS A CHILD?

>> WAIT, YOU HAVE A FULLERECTION, SIR, I'M NOT

INTERESTED.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> I'M NOT INTERESTED.

>> Chris: I'M TOO CAUGHT UPIN THE PASSION OF THE DANCE.

>> I'M NOT INTERESTED.

>> AS LONG AS YOU STAY ONTHAT SIDE OF THE PODIUM.

>> YEAH.

>> Chris: LENNON?

>> NO, NOBODY WANTS IT.

MAKING ENDS MEET AFTER "HOMEIMPROVEMENT" WAS CANCELLED?

>> Chris: YES!

(APPLAUSE)BRIDEY.

>> DRENCHED IN PUSSY.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> IT IS THE WAY SHELINGERED ON THAT WORD.

>> HOW DO YOU SAY "DRENCHED INPUSSY"?

>> Chris: COMO SE VA-- HOWDO YOU SAY "DRENCHED IN PUSSY"?

IS LIKE A PUSSY DRENCH.

I AM-- I AM-- THE PUSSY ISSO MUCH I'M DRENCHED.

LIKE GRAVY.

>> SO MANY JUICES.

>> Chris: LIKE I WENT OUT INA PUSSY STORM AND OH NO!

I FORGOT MY UMBRELLA!

>> I SWIMMING IN IT.

>> Chris: SO MUCH.

>> I SWIMMING IN IT.

>> Chris: SWIMMING!

THROUGH A PUSSY RIVER!

(APPLAUSE)>> Chris: FINALLY THESE FIT

AUSSIES.

>> OKAY, FIVE, SIX, SEVENAND DUCK, TWO, THREE, FOUR,

FIVE, SIX, SEVEN.

DUCK, TWO, THREE, FOUR, ANDSHAKE IT UP.

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: YEAH, YOU CAN'T

PLAY IN THE GAME IF YOULEAVE YOUR TOILET BRUSH AT

HOME, SHEILA!

THIS DOESN'T COUNT.

JESSICA.

>> BIDET MATE

>> Chris: YES, OH SO GOOD.

OH MY GOD.

JESSICA!

>> THANK YOU.

>> Chris: YOU GOT TO RETIREAFTER THAT.

THAT WAS AMAZING.

>> SEE YOU LATER.

THAT'S IT.

SEE YOU LATER.