Wolf Blitzer - The World's Most Amazing Name

Tuesday, March 21, 2017 03/21/2017 Views: 386

In honor of Wolf Blitzer's birthday, Joel Kim Booster, Jay Chandrasekhar and Emily Heller come up with outlandish names for news anchors. (2:00)

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The Big Bad Wolf.

It was at the first lightof dawn, 69 years ago tomorrow,

that a dying warlock thrusta battle-ax into a boulder

at the baseof the Carpathian Mountains.

And when it cracked in half,thunder rolled across the sky,

and Wolf Blitzer was born!

At least, I assumethat's how that happened,

'cause how elsecould you justify

naming a human beingWolf Blitzer?

Wolf Blitzer soundslike a defensive line position

in Siberian rules football.

Yet Wolf Blitzeris a human being, apparently,

who happens to just looklike someone asked a Furby

to conductthe Berlin Philharmonic.

So in honor of the newscaster

with the world's most,uh, amazing name,

I would like you to make up

as many other equallyamazing-sounding names

for newscasters as you canin 60 seconds. And begin.

Uh, Emily.

Jonathan Poop.

You are so proud of yourself.Points. Jay.

Hoots Leathersby.

Points. Jay.

Wolf Prevent Defense.

Points. Joel.

Marcia Marcia Marshall.

Yes, points. Very good. Emily.

Butt Poop.

You're sayingButt is the first name

and Poop is the-the last nameon that one.

-Yes, of the Pennsylvania Poops.-Of the Pennsylvania Poops.

Does-does Butt Poop havea middle name?


Th-This episode just ratedhigher with third graders

than any episode...

Poop Jonathan... (bleep).

"Poop Jonathan Butt,get in here!"